Fishlegs: Trader Johann's here, everybody, Trader Johann's here!
Snotlout: Johann Shmohann, that guy never lets me touch any of his cool stuff.
Hiccup: Well that's because last time he was here, you broke half of it!
Snotlout: [gasps] It's my word against his.
Trader Johann: I'm back! Ah, Berk! The crown jewel of the entire Archipelago!
Fishlegs: Over here Trader Johann!
[Trader Johann laughs]
Fishlegs: Oooo, what did you bring today?
Trader Johann: First things, Mr. Fishlegs, treasures from every coast and every shore, like the pearls of danger.
Trader Johann: Perfect for that special lady in your life...
Snotlout: You know, those could be yours, Astrid, just say the word...
Snotlout: That's not the word!
Gobber: Hmm, nope!
Trader Johann: Ah, Mr. Gobber, what could I interest you in?
Gobber: Why don't you wow me Johann, knock me off my feet.
Trader Johann: Put me to the test, I uh, [chuckles] okay.
Gobber: Hang on... [walks over to a corner]
Gobber: What's under here?
Trader Johann: Oh, nothing too exciting, just an old pile of...
Gobber: Scrap metal! It's perfect! I've run out of things to pound around here!
Tuffnut: Woah, It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!
Astrid: It's just scrap metal.
Tuffnut: No, I'm talking about this mace!
[Tuffnut runs to the mace and picks it up.]
Tuffnut: Woah, hey mace. You wanna come home with me, don't you? [in a high voice:] Yes I do, Tuffnut, I wanna needlessly destroy other people's property with you! [regular voice again:] Oh Macey, you get me!
Trader Johann: [to Gobber:] I see you are a gentleman that recognizes quality when he sees it. This is the finest metal from the farthest reaches of the archipelago.
Gobber: I'll take it all.
Trader Johann: Excellent, always a pleasure, Mr. Gobber.
[They hear a crash and all look at Snotlout.]
Trader Johann: Huh?
[Plate drops to the deck and breaks.]
Snotlout: Wasn't me!
Trader Johann: I really hate that kid.
Gobber: Uh, Hiccup, do you think you can spare a hook, son?
Hiccup: Not a problem, Gobber.
[Hiccup looks at the teens ]
Hiccup: Hey guys!
Tuffnut: Lets do this, Macey!
[Gobber lifts Snotlout off his dragon]
Gobber: Not so fast, you, I paid good money for this scrap, I'll not have you dropping it into the ocean!
Woman: I got those ladles when I went to sleep and now they're gone!
Sven: All my grandmother's goblets, GONE!
Hiccup: Okay, what did we just walk into?
Man 2: All my favorite milk jugs, gone!
Hiccup: What is going on here?
Snotlout: A bunch of stuff got stolen from the village last night.
Astrid: And some of us are taking it pretty hard.
Tuffnut: [Crying] Macey, Macey, Oh golly she's gone. NOOOOOO!!!!
[Tuffnut points at Ruffnut]
Tuffnut: You, you were always jealous of her. You knew I loved her more because I told you every so often and I wrote it in your room on the wall!
Stoick: We have quite a situation on our hands, axes, shields, helmets, drinking goblets, all stolen.
Hiccup: Axes, shields, helmets, drinking goblets. What do all these things have in common?
Snotlout: Obviously, duh, they're all gone.
Hiccup: No, they're metal, everything that's missing is metal.
Astrid: Hiccup, everything we own is metal.
Hiccup: It's a theory, work with me.
Tuffnut: I miss the little spikes around your head... [Cries]
Stoick: Whatever's going on, I need to find who is responsible before this panic gets any worse.
Gobber: Bucket and Mulch are slapping each other with sturgeons.
Stoick: What happened to their bludgeons?
Gobber: Stolen, It's the sturgeon
Stoick: In someways It's probably better.
Hiccup: Uh Dad, what do you say you take care of this sturgeon slapping while Astrid and I do a little investigating.
Astrid: Investigating? What exactly are you planning, Hiccup?
Hiccup: To return to the scenes of crime and see if we can find out something about this metal theif.
Tuffnut: [Cries] I miss her! [continues to cry] She had such a weird voice!
Hiccup: Gobber, can you remember who has been here the last couple of days?
Gobber: Hmm, hard to say. Business has been booming. There's only 41 shopping days left till Snoggletog, you know. Don't wait until the last minute.
Hiccup: No footprints...
Gobber: This metal thief won't get the best of me, I've set booby traps that are guaranteed to nab it.
Astrid: What's the matter?
Gobber: It would appear that I've trapped myself in my own booby, No one... move... a muscle...
Tuffnut: This is where Macey was before her disappearance, quote, unquote.
Ruffnut: I didn't take your stupid mace!
Tuffnut: It was her favorite spot. She just loved watching the sunset, or this wall, depending on which side I left her on.
Astrid: This is weird.
Hiccup: Yeah, even for the twins.
Ruffnut: Hey, leave me out of this one!
Hiccup: Strange, no forced entry, not a single footprint...
Astrid: And no eye witnesses...
Ruffnut: Huh, and you call yourselves detectives?
Hiccup: Uh, first of all, no, we don't call ourselves detectives, and second, what's so obvious?
Ruffnut: What you're looking for, is not just a metal thief, It's a ghost metal thief. Uh huh!
Hiccup: Well, that was helpful, as usual.
Astrid: It's getting late. We'll start again in the morning.
Hiccup: Uhh, huh? Toothless, Toothless, what the, TOOTHLESS!!!
Hiccup: Are they... Smokebreaths?
Hiccup: Hey, you get your hands off that! Well, bud, It looks like we found our thief.
Fishlegs: The thief hit you guys too, huh?
Snotlout: I feel naked without my helmet.
Tuffnut: Me too. But I made a sketch of the thief. It came to me in a dream, see, my self conscience is working overtime. Like a sports team that just can't win.
Astrid: Um, Tuffnut, that's you.
Tuffnut: No it's not.
Fishlegs: Yes it is.
Tuffnut: No, it isn't. I think I'd know myself if I... Huh. I guess it is. Yeah.
Hiccup: Hey, guys. I know who the thief is.
Hiccup: Or should I say I know who our thieves are?
Hiccup: Adolescent Smokebreath dragons.
Fishlegs: Of course! Smokebreaths steal metal to build their nests.
Stoick: But why would Smokebreaths be on Berk?
Fishlegs: Chief! Coming in for the big win!
Fishlegs: Smothering Smokebreaths normally don't stray far from their home on Breakneck Bog.
Hiccup: That's the part I'm still unclear about.
Gobber: I've been robbed!
Gobber: The thief evaded my booby traps and took all the metal I bought from trader Johann!
Gobber: Left me with nary a scrap of... scrap!
Hiccup: Dad, I think I might know how the Smokebreaths got here.
Trader Johann: That's when I said... "what's for dinner?"
Trader Johann: And the chief of the Mori Ori tribe licked his lips and said, "you are!"
Trader Johann: "You are!"
Trader Johann: My first mate would've been his first course. Ha!
Trader Johann: Ah, master Hiccup and the great chief. To what do I owe this pleasure?
Hiccup: Well, Johann, we were wondering where you may have gotten that scrap metal you sold Gobber.
Trader Johann: Unfortunately, old friends, I can't possibly reveal my sources.
Trader Johann: Of course, there are times when it's best to share. I procured it from a Berserker, who was offering it at a price I could not refuse. He had just come from an island that we both well and equally fear.
Hiccup: Breakneck Bog.
Trader Johann: You didn't hear that from me.
Hiccup: Oh, well, that wasn't just a pile of scrap metal, Johann, that was a Smokebreath nest with hatchlings inside it.
Stoick: Well, uh, well, that's unfortunate news.
Trader Johann: Ah, ooh. No need to thank me! Now, back to our story. Where was I?
Hiccup: Well, that answers how the Smokebreaths got here.
Stoick: Gobber, what's the latest?
Gobber: Just as I'd feared, Stoick. Almost no metal left in all of Berk.
Stoick: And what of the armory?
Gobber: Let's just say the axe handles outnumber the axes.
Gobber: Oh. And then there's this.
Stoick: Without weapons, Berk is vulnerable.
Hiccup: Dad, we've still got the dragons.
Stoick: And Dagur has an armada. Five dragons are no match for a large-scale attack.
Hiccup: We have to find that missing metal. Especially the weapons.
Tuffnut: Oh, Macey must be so alone and scared out there. It's hard out there for a mace. Oh, Macey.
Astrid: Maybe the Smokebreaths took the metal back to Breakneck Bog.
Fishlegs: I don't think so.
Fishlegs: Smokebreaths can't fly long distances carrying a lot of weight.
Ruffnut: Hey, Snotlout, how'd you get your helmet back?
Snotlout: It's my spare. A real warrior is never without his helmet.
Astrid: Can't say the same for his brain.
Snotlout: What is it with you today? You are so up my...
Snotlout: Ooh! Hey!
Hiccup: Snotlout, come on, please focus.
Snotlout: Come on, really? Oh!
Hiccup: If the Smokebreaths didn't take the metal back to Breakneck Bog, they must have started building a nest somewhere here on Berk.
Tuffnut: Awesome! Not awesome?
Astrid: Definitely not awesome. How are we gonna find them?
Astrid: They could be anywhere.
Hiccup: Well, there's only one way to catch a metal thief, and that's...
Tuffnut: Wait, don't tell me. With a net! No. No, no, with a rope! No? Okay. Oh... oh! Don't say it. With a ropey net.
Hiccup: I was just gonna say with metal.
Tuffnut: Oh! It was on the tip of my tongue. Stupid tongue.
Tuffnut: Flick it. Come on, flick it.
Tuffnut: Ow! Oh, yeah.
Hiccup: So we need to gather all the metal from the arena and bait a trap that the Smokebreaths won't be able to resist.
Hiccup: We lure them in, let them take the metal, and follow them right back to the nest and all our missing weapons.
Astrid: You did say "all the metal," right, Hiccup?
Snotlout: What? Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. What about his leg? That's made of metal.
Snotlout: All I'm saying is fair is fair.
Hiccup: Snotlout, please.
Snotlout: I still think we should've flipped a yak pie for it.
Hiccup: Shh. It looks like they've taken the bait.
Hiccup: Okay, very important. No one do absolutely anything until I give the signal.
Ruffnut: Get 'em!
Tuffnut: Get 'em!
Hiccup: Yet another plan perfectly executed.
Hiccup: Dragons, everyone!
Tuffnut: I got one!
Ruffnut: I got one too!
Tuffnut: Ugh, and its skin feels all sweaty and clammy.
Tuffnut: Like a girl.
Hiccup: Look, there they go. Follow them!
Hiccup: Okay, don't lose 'em, bud.
Hiccup: Okay, tricky. Everyone split up!
Hiccup: Sneaky. Toothless, over there!
Hiccup: Oh, not this again.
Hiccup: Follow that rod!
Hiccup: Get me close enough, Toothless.
Hiccup: Want some metal? Here ya go!
Hiccup: Whoa! Whoa! Maybe this was a bad idea.
Hiccup: What is it, bud? Give us some light, bud.
Hiccup: The Smokebreaths' nest.
Hiccup: Okay. Uh. We need to go back and get all the riders, so we can break this apart and get it back to the village.
Astrid: Hiccup! Thank Thor. I finally caught up to you.
Hiccup: Astrid, I found the Smokebreath nest and...
Astrid: We don't have time for that now.
Hiccup: What do you mean?
Astrid: We just spotted something on the horizon. Something that may be a bigger problem than the Smokebreaths.
Dagur: Who would've thought those pesky, little scavengers could bring Berk to its knees?
Savage: Actually, I did. If you recall, it was my idea.
Savage: Although now that I think about it, I probably stole it from you.
Dagur: With no weapons and just a handful of dragons, Berk will be no match for the might of Dagur and his Berserker armada!
Dagur: Pucker up, Hiccup. Because you're about to kiss my boots.
Hiccup: Well, this guy is like, the king of armadas? Does he go anywhere without one?
Astrid: It's like he knew we were gonna be defenseless.
Hiccup: He did.
Hiccup: Trader Johann said he bought the scrap metal from a Berserker.
Fishlegs: And it was from Breakneck Bog.
Astrid: Dagur planted those dragons. He knew what they would do.
Stoick: Hiccup, you found the Smokebreath nest. You and the other riders go to it and get our weapons.
Hiccup: They'll be protecting it by now.
Hiccup We don't have enough time to fight the Smokebreaths and get back here before Dagur attacks.
Snotlout: Then I say we head out there and blast those Berserkers with what we've got.
Hiccup: Even with our dragons, the six of us won't be able to take out those ships alone.
Tuffnut: Well, if we cut ourselves in half, we'd be... twice as many!
Astrid: Just once, try stopping it between here and here.
Hiccup: No, he's actually onto something.
Tuffnut: See? I'll get an axe.
'Hiccup:' What? No. You don't need an axe. We don't need more of us.
Hiccup: We need more dragons.
Stoick: What are you saying, son?
Hiccup: Why fight against the Smokebreaths when we can fight with them?
Hiccup: Everyone, bring any metal you might still have in your houses. It doesn't matter how small it is.
Stoick: You heard my son!
Gobber: I gutted my first Outcast with this. Take good care of it.
Hiccup: Thank you, Gobber. I will.
Hiccup: Ruff, Tuff, sound the dinner bell.
Ruffnut: Come and get it, smokebutts!
Tuffnut: Yeah, smokebutts, come and get it, you foggy bottoms.
The Eel Effect (transcript)
Bing! Bam! Boom! (transcript)