(A Viking merchant hauls up his boat in the shore. He then walks to the center of the sandy part of the island, carrying two weapons. That is until he got pulled down under the sand by some mysterious reason)
[Dragon’s Edge: Hiccup's Hut]
Hiccup: Ah. Just like I remember. (looks at the betrothal gift for Astrid)
Snotlout: Hey, whatcha got there?
Hiccup: (Pushes Snotlout away) Ah- Uh. Nothing.
Snotlout: Uh, if it's nothing, then give me it. Hookfang and I are making a ceremonial bust of yours truly and we need all the junk metal we can melt down.
Hiccup: What? This isn't junk. It's my betrothal gift to Astrid. It means we'll be together forever.
Snotlout: Forever? Well, not if you give her that rusty old piece of... (Hiccup rolls his eyes) Hey! You know what would be a great idea? (Hiccup and Toothless both walk away) A decorative battering ram. Oh! How about a shiny new ball and chain? Wait! A bludgeon with her initials! (Metal door hits him in the face) OW!
[Inside Astrid's Hut]
Fishlegs: Ah, Astrid. (Peeks inside Astrid's hut)
Astrid: Fishlegs, unless this has to do with Hiccup's betrothal gift, the one I haven't gotten him yet, the one I have no clue where to start. (frustrated and slightly panicking, paces up and down the floor)
Fishlegs: The ceremonial betrothal gift must be exchanged six moon cycles from the first announcement of a Couple's... Well...
Fishlegs: Yes! Ah, look at me! I'm a wreck. You'd think I was the one 48 hours away from complete disaster, but it's you– (Astrid covers his mouth with her hand)
Astrid: (Fishlegs licks her hand) Ew! What is wrong with you?! (Astrid knocks him to the ground and sits on top of Fishlegs)
Fishlegs: Astrid, wait. I can help. Okay. Who knows Hiccup better than I do?
Astrid: Me. (Glares)
Fishlegs: Good point. Then you know what an amazing gift-giver he is.
Astrid: Yes. That's the problem. Hiccup is not your ordinary Viking. He has a Night Fury. (Stands up) He can fly with a suit made of yak hides. He has a sword that ignites on command. And he's going to be the next Chief of Berk...
Fishlegs: Wow. Well, when you put it like that, you really are completely--- (gets cut off by Hiccup, who appears on scene looking worried)
Hiccup: Hey, guys, I just got a T-Mail from Trader Johann, and it didn't sound good.
[Inside the Clubhouse]
Hiccup: All it says is that he needs our help and to come quickly.
Snotlout: And you immediately wrote him back a big, old, "No, thank you," I assume.
Hiccup: Why would I do that?
Snotlout: That guy is bad luck, Hiccup. The last time we got a T-mail from old TJ, we almost got eaten by an island of very angry and very wild dragons.
Hiccup: Okay. Tell you what, Snotlout, you can stay here. (Hiccup walks to Toothless to get his satchel)
Snotlout: By myself? No, thank you. I'm just saying, this sucks.
Hiccup: Hey, Astrid, can I talk to you for a second? (Grabs bag with the betrothal gift inside)
Astrid: (nervous) Oh. Uh, better wait on that. Don't want to leave Trader Johann hanging. (Goes to Stormfly and climbs up)
Hiccup: Huh? (Confused)
Astrid: Ha! (Flies off with Stormfly)
Hiccup: Uh, what-what's happening? (Looks at Fishlegs)
Fishlegs: Don't ask me. She's your betrothed.
[On the way to Trader Johann]
Hiccup: Astrid! Astrid! Astrid, will you just keep Stormfly steady for a minute? (Struggling to catch up with Stormfly)
Astrid: Sorry. She's feisty today. (Pretends to be struggling to control her dragon) Must be the excitement to see Trader Johann. She really likes him.
Hiccup: She really... What? Since when? Astrid! (Confused, Hiccup looks at Fishlegs for some answers)
[At the Northern Markets]
Stormfly: (Sees a wagon full of ripe apples and eats it all in one bite)
Random Man: Hey! (points to the now empty wagon)
Snotlout: Ugh! (looks around the Northern Markets) Didn't this stink-hole used to be way more crowded?
Tuffnut: Oh, yeah. Definitely. (looks around as well) We would have been robbed at least three times by now. I miss that charm.
[At Trader Johann's Stall]
Johann: (dramatically stating his words) Everything from glass trinkets to golden chalices, vanished. And the traders? Gone without a trace (raises left arm in the air).
Hiccup: You seem to be okay, Johann. Has anything of yours been taken?
Johann: Master Hiccup, leave it to you to find the silver lining in a dark, mysterious cloud.
Snotlout: Yeah, maybe they just packed their stuff up and left. You didn't tell them any of your boring stories, did you, Johann? (crosses arms)
Johann: I assure you, (dramatically speaking) my tales of adventure and revelry are the preeminent part of any weary traveler's day.
Snotlout: Case solved. Anyone wanna race me to the Edge? (Points jokingly)
Johann: Deep within the bowels... (Johann continues to tell his tales...)
Fishlegs: Uh, guys, I don't think this about Johann. (Points to Trader Johann)
Hiccup: Okay, Fishlegs. What is it about?
Fishlegs: The Curse of Tears. (Tuffnut starts crying at the word "tears")
Ruffnut: It's that word. Makes him open up like a water spout. Ever since we were kids.
Snotlout: Oh, what word? "Tears"? (Tuffnut again bursts out crying at hearing the word tears)
Ruffnut: Really? (glares at Snotlout)
Snotlout: Sorry. Jeez, Louise... (smirks) Tears. (Tuffnut cries harder)
Hiccup: (sighs) Fishlegs, can you explain?
Fishlegs: As I was saying, if the Curse of T-- (Ruffnut glares at him if ever he says the word) ... If the curse of you-know-what is real, and I am not saying it is, many traders and valuables have fallen victim to it and vanished, never to be heard from again.
Snotlout: Well, I like a good mystery as well as anyone, but I promised Hookfang we could roll in some Yak dung back home. So you (points to Fishlegs) can keep your curse. And you! (points to Tuffnut) Tears. (Tuffnut again starts crying)
Hiccup: Hang on. We at least need to check this out. (Hiccup sighs) All right, lets split up and look around. Look for any signs of a struggle.
Fishlegs: Astrid, you can team up with me. What better place to find a gift for the Viking who has everything? (whispers)
Ruffnut: Great idea, Fishlegs. Shopping can be so relaxing.
Tuffnut: (sniffs) Therapeutic, even. (tries not to cry)
[Looking around, wandering the Northern Markets]
Random trader viking: (Holds up a spear, showing it to Fishlegs, Astrid and the twins) This spear is barbed to the top! So while the head will slide into the victim, pulling it out is a different story. (chuckles evilly)
Tuffnut: And a story I, for one, would love to hear. Chapter and verse, please.
Astrid: Hiccup with a spear. Really? (stares at Tuffnut)
Fishlegs: How about something portable?
Random trader viking: Hmm. Maybe this axe? Made from the neck bone of a dragon. (Both Astrid and Fishlegs glare at him) Right. I suppose dragon bone is a no-no.
Tuffnut: Not cool.
Random trader viking: Oh- Ooh! I do now carry a wide array of items. This decorative dish, for example. (Astrid glares at him, shaking her head, unimpressed) Uh, how about a real working ball and chain? (Holds up a ball and chain) (Astrid glares at him even more)
Tuffnut: (laughs) Hiccup can take off his leg. You really think that's gonna hold him?
Random trader viking: All right, all right! (looks through his stuff and takes out some sort of paper, rolling it out) I was reserving this for my most special customer but...
Astrid: Um, a map? He wants me to get Hiccup a map? (looks at the trader, unamused)
Random trader viking: Ooh, but it's so much more than just a map. It is told that whoever can decipher it, can find their way to the (whispers next part) Treasure of Tears. (Tuffnut again starts crying, at hearing the word "tears")
Fishlegs: Curse of Tears, Treasure of Tears! Makes sense they'd go together. (shrugs)
Ruffnut: For the love of Thor! Have you no soul?! Look at this poor man.
Astrid: No, and no. Treasure Map. (scoffs)
[Hiccup and Snotlout wandering the Northern Markets]
Hiccup: The first thing we have to figure out, is there really a curse? And, if there is, where did it start? Whose curse is it? Are you even listening to me? Snotlout, where did you get that? (sees Snotlout holding Hiccup's betrothal gift for Astrid)
Snotlout: Your saddlebag. (Teases Hiccup) You should be more careful around here. (Hiccup sighs) You know what this thing needs? (walks to a nearby stall)
Hiccup: To be out of your grubby hands? (follows him, eyeing the betrothal gift)
Snotlout: It needs a chain! Then at least Astrid can wear the stupid thing. Otherwise, it's just an anchor for a very tiny boat. (Positions the carved stone on a string, taking the shape of a necklace) See. Looks nice, right?
Hiccup: Would you give me that? (Snotlout laughs, enjoying the now annoyed Hiccup, when suddenly, a thief snatched the betrothal gift from Snotlout's hands, catching him by surprise) (Hiccup galres at Snotlout, and chases off after the thief)
Snotlout: I'm guessing you want that back. (The thief runs through under a bridge with Hiccup, Snotlout and Toothless chasing after him)
Snotlout: Snotlout! (Snotlout yells while making a quick turn)
Berthel: Catch, Amos! (hands the betrothal gift to Amos, his companion)
Hiccup: Amos? (Hiccup glares, remembering the name. Amos runs past two other traders. Hiccup then gasps) Look! (Hiccup points because there seems to be a confusion to where and who they were following)
Hiccup: Where'd he go? (runs for Toothless)
Snotlout: Ah! I don't know! I lost track of who we were chasing. Agh, I hate being confused! (growls)
Hiccup: (on Toothless' back, ready to fly off) Really? I figured you'd be used to it by now. (Flies away)
Snotlout: Heard that. Hookfang!
Snotlout: Help! The Curse of Tears is real!
Hiccup: Uh. The footprints just stop. I mean, he couldn't have just disappeared.
Snotlout: Well, maybe it's the Curse of Tears. Ooh! Scary.
Hiccup: Never seen anything like this...
Snotlout: Me neither. (Snotlout is grabbed by the Sandbuster)
Hiccup: Oh, no!
Snotlout: Hiccup! Help!
Hiccup: Toothless! Hang on, bud!
Hiccup: Where are we?
Snotlout: Who cares? Look around you. (laughs) Gold, silver, silver, gold. How I love thee to caress and to hold... (screams after grabbing a part of a skeleton) Whoa. Oof. Aww, man. What is with these bones? They're ruining my treasure pleasure.
Hiccup: Snotlout, it's not your treasure. And from the looks of things, having it didn't help these guys much. We need to worry less about this junk, and figure a way out of here or all the treasure in the world won't help us. Okay, first things first. I need something to replace my leg.
Snotlout: Oh, a leg, you say? I have just the thing.
Hiccup: Snotlout, what are you...[Babbling]
Snotlout: Shush, you! There. Trust me. He won't miss it. Thank you, dead body.
Hiccup: I guess I can live with that. Now, we need a plan before that sand thing comes back. Hmm. This stuff is everywhere.
Snotlout: No kidding. Look.
Tuffnut: And voila! You, my good fellow, are the model of a modern Viking gentleman.
Ruffnut: Every Viking leader needs a formal attire. Am I right? Am I right!?
Tuffnut: Her fashion sense is dreadful.
Ruffnut: Uh, just dreadful.
Tuffnut: Scarf exit.
Ruffnut: Time is wasting.
Astrid: Listen, I think we just have to face to the facts, Fishlegs. There's nothing I can get Hiccup Haddock that he doesn't have, doesn't want, or doesn't need. I'm useless.
Fishlegs: What is it? What's going on, boy?
Astrid: It's Hiccup. I knew it. Something must have happened to him and Snotlout.
Snotlout: Ow. If you break this stuff, it's really sharp. Ow, ow, ow.
Hiccup: Then don't break it.
Snotlout: Little late for that. But thank you. Oh, no. It's back. It's gonna turn us into old dusty bones.
Hiccup: Would you stop whining and get ready to shoot?
Hiccup: Put those things down. Now! If we have any chance of getting out of this place, we all need to work together.
Amos: Yeah. Together.
Hiccup: And I'll take that, thank you very much.
Astrid: What is it, Toothless? I don't understand. Where are they?
Fishlegs: Astrid. (Astrid gasps at seeing Hiccup's leg.)
Tuffnut: Woo-hoo! I'll take that. Wow! What? It's mine. Hiccup willed it to me. He said if anything ever happened to him, the leg was to be bequeathed to one Tuffnut LaVerne Thorston.
Astrid: Oh, you want this? You want it? Oh, I'll give it to you. Come on. Say it. Say you want it. Say it. Or should I say it? Tears! Tears, tears, tears,...
Tuffnut: Ah! No, no, no! (starts crying again)
Ruffnut: What's wrong with you? It's not his fault Hiccup's gone. Why do you have to be so mean? Look at him! He's just a baby.
Astrid: I'm sorry, Tuff. I-I don't know what came over me. I think I'm just...
Ruffnut: You leave him be! Hey. What do you say we look at our new map, bro? Would that make you feel better?
Fishlegs: Wait. What map?
Astrid: You bought that?
Ruffnut: It's not like we had a choice. It's got two words we love beyond... Well, words. "Treasure" and uh, you know...
Fishlegs: Astrid, I hate to admit it but these rocks look a lot like...
Ruffnut: Don't say it.
(Fishlegs acts out and mouths the word tears but Tuffnut understands it and starts crying again)
Fishlegs: Oh, come on! I didn't even say it.
Astrid: Well, I'm out of ideas. Might as well give this thing a shot.
Hiccup: Nothing but dead ends. I don't think we're getting outta here anytime soon.
Snotlout: Great. I'm finally rich, and I don't even get to enjoy my vast fortune. Thanks to Amos the Lamest over here.
Amos: If you hadn't chased me, we wouldn't be down here in the first place.
Hiccup: What? If you hadn't stolen from me, we wouldn't have had to chase you.
Amos: Well, I guess we can call it even.
Hiccup: No, we can't. That's not even kind of even.
Snotlout: Guys, guys. You might wanna save this discussion for later.
Hiccup: Okay, nobody... (Amos runs) Amos, no!
Hiccup: It thinks you're trying to steal it's treasure. Don't move. (blast of fire from Sandbuster comes at Hiccup and Amos) Okay, now move! Run! Oh. Take cover!
Snotlout: Huh. Did you guys see that?
Hiccup: It's the light. It can't be in direct sunlight.
Amos: Maybe that's why he patched the holes in the roof.
Snotlout: No Thank you. Nice going, Snotlout? Nothing?
Amos: Oh, shut up, Snotlout.
Tuffnut: All right, look, Astrid. We'll give up the...
Astrid: The what?
Tuffnut: You know. The --- Those we can live without. The treasure? That's gotta be ours. We earned that treasure. I earned that treasure.
Astrid: If this works, you can have all the treasure you want. But if it doesn't, you know what's coming.
Ruffnut: Uh, what do you say we stray from going down that dark road again, Astrid?
Tuffnut: Yeah. I'm not sure I have any... Well, you know, left to cry.
Astrid: Hmm. Do you see that? Hiccup.
Snotlout: We're gonna die.
Hiccup: Shh. Do you hear that? It came from outside.
Astrid: Come on, boy. If this map is real, we need to get there soon.
Hiccup: Alright, lift me up. If someone's out there, we need to make sure they can see us.
Fishlegs: Is he in there?
Snotlout: Is anyone out there?
Hiccup and Astrid: No.
Astrid: Looks like we're not the only ones who got fooled by this map.
Hiccup: Looks like we're on our own.
Snotlout: You know, staring at that thing isn't gonna suddenly help us get out of here.
Hiccup: Hey, you have a better idea for whenever that sand-busting thing comes back?
Snotlout: Sandbuster. That's a good name. I was just trying to help.
Amos: Oh, you couldn't have gotten sucked down with you dragons, could ya? Could've flown right out of here. But no!
Snotlout: Why do you even talk?
Amos: It's how I voice my displeasure. And I'm gonna die with freedom just beyond that hole.
Hiccup: The hole. Yes. That's our way out.
Amos: Oh. How do you plan on getting to it?
Snotout: Yeah, I mean, the idiot does have a point. We can't even reach it.
Hiccup: Then we'll bring it to us. You two start stacking this junk. Build a tower, as high as it'll go.
Amos: It'll never reach, and it'll never hold.
Hiccup: Oh, just do it.
Snotlout: And what are you gonna do?
Hiccup: Build a cage, to trap the Sandbuster when he comes back.
Snotlout: I don't know. Just do what he says. He's always right, so there's really no point.
Hiccup: What was that, Snotlout?
Snotlout: You're like a ray of light. Lighting my way. Super-shiny. Never mind.
Hiccup: Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
Fishlegs: He's out there, Astrid. Somewhere. And we're gonna find him. Meatlug and I won't stop looking until we do. Right, girl?
Ruffnut: Bro, it's like tear. It's spelled the same way. Tear, Tear, no? (Tuffnut starts crying) Okay. All right. calm down.
Astrid: Wait a minute...
Ruffnut: Tear open a bag of...
Astrid: Fishlegs, what do you see here?
Fishlegs: A good reason to throw the twins into our volcano?
Astrid: No. Look. This helmet in the corner, it looks just like that mountain peak over there.
Fishlegs: Astrid, I know you want this to--
Astrid: And these axes right here? They line up, too. These are all landmarks. All around us. When you line up the map, look what happens. Come on. We're going to get Hiccup.
Amos: You don't really think this thing is gonna hold?
Snotlout: As long as we get Hiccup to climb it. It'll hold his scrawny butt, no problem. I thought you said you were building a cage.
Hiccup: Yes, Snotlout. I did.
Snotlout: Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but don't cages have, I don't know, locks, bars, and walls?
Hiccup: Trust me. This is going to work. Now, let's get up that tower. Did you make sure it was sturdy?
Amos: Snotlout said...
Snotlout: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Sandbuster, Sandbuster!
Amos: No, don't!
Hiccup: Ha-ha. Ha-ha. See? Cage.
Amos: You wasn't lying. He is always right.
Snotlout: Shut up, Amos.
Hiccup: Now, for our exit. Oh, no. No! Hey, don't you touch that. It is a gift.
Snotlout: Oh, yeah, I'm sure he really cares about that. Snotlout! Gotcha! Ha! Hiccup!
Snotlout: Hiccup, what are you...
Snotlout: ...doing? Nice job!
Hiccup: You guys run. I'll keep it busy.
Amos: Right. Sounds good to me.
Snotlout: Stand down, Amos the Lamest. We're not going anywhere without that guy. Got it?
Amos: Then we're all gonna die where we stand!
Hiccup: You were saying? Woo-hoo!
Amos: No, no, no!
Johann: I must say, Master Hiccup, you and your team always seem to right the wrongs in this mad, mad world. With the vicious Sandbuster beach closed to incoming traffic, the flow of commerce can, once again, commence. And, speaking of commerce, Master Snotlout, I've been admiring your bejeweled weapon. Simply dazzling.
Snotlout: Save it, Johann. It's not for sale.
Ruffnut: Just start with the T. A little t... Just a little... (Tuffnut cries even harder) Oh. Okay, okay.
Johann: And with that, I bid you adieu.
Astrid: Um, I need to check on Stormfly.
Hiccup: No, no, you don't.
Astrid: I don't?
Hiccup: No. You need to stand right here and take this in.
Hiccup: This was my father's bethrothal gift to my mother. (Astrid gasps as Hiccup puts the necklace on her) --um, and he gave it to me, to give to you. Astrid, you're a part of our family. You always have been and I hope you always will be. (Astrid sighs) Okay. If you don't like it --
Astrid: Hiccup, I... It's beautiful. It's perfect. It's just... I didn't get you a gift. I don't know what to get, or...
Hiccup: But you did. Astrid, you got me the greatest gift in the world. You, You, just being here with me. It's the only gift I need. (Hiccup and Astrid share a hug)
Snotlout: En garde!
Hiccup: Hey, watch it! Wait a minute.
Astrid: What is it?
Hiccup: I thought I recognized that sword. That's not just any old sword. That's...
Hiccup: Who brought it here?
Living on the Edge (transcript)
Something Rotten on Berserker Island (transcript)