(Volcanic activity can be heard on Dragons Edge)
Snotlout: Hey. I'm trying to get some sleep here. Stupid volcano.
Tuffnut: Chicken. Easy, little Chicken. I'm so sick of these baby ones. I wish it would volcano-up and start spewing already.
Ruffnut: Right? Either get on with it, or keep it to yourself.
Fishlegs: It's okay, girl. The volcano hasn't erupted in three months. It's not gonna start now. Right?
Astrid: Hiccup. Was that-
Hiccup: More intense than normal? No doubt. Whoa! All right, everyone got their Gronckle Iron? Good. Just like we practiced, guys. And don't spill any. We can't afford to lose a drop. Guys, this is worse than I thought.
Snotlout: Yeah, I know! Oh, my S! Hiccup, look at it. You know how attached I am to my S.
Hiccup: Snotlout, no one cares about your S. Keep pouring Gronckle Iron into the cracks.
Tuffnut: Wait for it.
Both: Yak's eye.
Tuffnut: Char grilled Snotlout, anyone?
Ruffnut: He'll have a nice smoky finish from the lava.
Hiccup: Hey, Ruff. Tuff.
Tuffnut: Ugh. Buzz kill.
Snotlout: It was such a beautiful S.
Ruffnut: Come on, Barf. Come on, Belch.
Astrid: This is a disaster.
Tuffnut: Yeah, I've seen worse.
Fishlegs: You mean you've caused worse.
Tuffnut: Huh, I wish. This is Odin's handiwork himself, my friend. But I, I am a mere mortal.
Snotlout: You happy, Hiccup?
Hiccup: Happy? What? What did I do?
Snotlout: We should have left this pile of rocks months ago, but no. You wanted to keep exploring. "Hiccup the explorer".
Astrid: Hiccup, you know I'd rather plant dragon root under my fingernails than agree with Snotlout.
Tuffnut: Don't waste your time, A. That stuff needs a ton of light to grow. Unless you're willing to stand outside.
Astrid: I think it might be time to head back to Berk. Viggo and Ryker are gone. The Dragon Eye is destroyed. Even Mother Nature is telling us to go.
Ruffnut: Uh Mother Earth? The Earth Mother?
Tuffnut: The earliest roots date back to the Mesopotamian tablets which show the creative and nurturing sides of nature as a female deity. You should read more.
Astrid: Hiccup, we won. We can go home now.
Hiccup: I know, bud. She's right.
Tuffnut: Really? Awesome news. And just in time for our estate sale.
Hiccup: I'm sorry. Your what?
Ruffnut: Listen, man. This helmet is a bona fide helmet...
Tuffnut: Not too late to get in on the lifelike Nutt statues.
Ruffnut: You act right now, I'll throw in some free shipping. You're breaking my boars here.
Tuffnut: Made from our actual hair.
Tuffnut: Ew yourself, missy. You wish you had locks like these.
Hiccup: Uh, who in their right mind would ever buy a statue of you two?
Ruffnut: Sold! Statue of us two!
Hiccup: Of course.
Snotlout: Hi, question. When are we getting out of here?
Hiccup: When the volcano is stabilized. We just need time to find new homes for all the dragons we've relocated here.
Astrid: That's weird. What's Johann doing here?
Johann: Oh, dear. There hasn't been destruction like this since Emperor Nicephorus and the Byzantines were mercilessly annihilated in the Battle of Pliska. They say that Khan Krum had Nicephorus' skull encased in silver and drank mead from it. Ruthless. Anyway, it's going to take some cleanup. I have a multitude of items that could assist you in that process. Hmm?
Hiccup: There's not going to be any cleanup, Johann.
Johann: Well, master Hiccup, perhaps this delivery will cheer you up. I think you will like what you see. Although what mysterious avocation could you be working on that necessitates such an odd variety of articles? Hmm?
Hiccup: Doesn't really matter now, Johann.
Ruffnut: Sold! Yeah.
Hiccup: All right. Think. Think. Think. We need something that'll not only hold up to the intense heat of the lava, but-
Fishlegs: Will withstand the extreme buildup of volcanic pressure.
Hiccup: Exactly. Guys Guys, do you mind? There's gotta be something. All right. Pick that up. Huh? Wait. You might actually be onto something. Fishlegs, what would happen if we mixed Death Song amber with Gronckle Iron?
Fishlegs: You mean the very same Death Song amber that withstood the pressure of water hundreds of feet below the surface of the ocean?
Hiccup: That's the one!
Fishlegs: Mixing the exact quantities of all the ingredients will be key so it doesn't set off a negative chemical reaction.
Hiccup: I can't believe that actually worked.
Fishlegs: Well, let's not start slapping each other's yaks just yet. That was the last of the Death Song amber. And even if we had more, there's no way Meatlug can make enough Gronckle Iron to stabilize the whole island.
Hiccup: So, we need Gronckles and Death Song amber. Well, we know where to find both. Right?
Snotlout: There is no way I'm going to Melody Island. The word death is in the dragon's name for a very good reason.
Hiccup: Astrid and I will get the amber.
Snotlout: Good. I like that plan.
Hiccup: Fishlegs, you stay behind and gather ingredients for Gronckle Iron and find a place to store the liquid metal.
Snotlout: Oh, keep talking. Oh. This is the best plan ever.
Tuffnut: What about us? What are we doing?
Hiccup: Rounding up a group of Gronckles from Dark Deep.
Snotlout: Oh! You idiots! Why did you open your big-
Hiccup: And Snotlout, you're going with them. Congratulations.
Snotlout: This is the worst plan I've ever heard.
Hiccup: This is strange.
Astrid: And I don't hear anything.
Hiccup: No Death Song.
Astrid: You were saying?
Hiccup: These wounds are fresh.
Astrid: Dragon Hunters?
Hiccup: Not like any we've encountered. This is beyond brutal. That sounds like... No way. Garff?
Astrid: Oh, my Thor. You're right. It is. Oh, you poor thing. What have they done to you? Wait a minute, where's the other Death Song?
Hiccup: Must not have been as lucky as this guy.
Hiccup: Well, Garff got away. He's still alive.
Astrid: Yeah, barely.
Hiccup: Hey. It's okay. It's okay.
Astrid: Hiccup, if Viggo's gone, then-
Hiccup: Who's leading these Hunters? And what's so important that they'd go toe to toe with a Death Song?
Dragon Hunter: Oh, this is no way to hunt dragons.
Krogan: Not what you're used to. Is that it? Well, please, do accept my most sincere apologies.
Dragon Hunter: Mm-hmm.
Krogan: Now, if you would be so kind as to tell me why the objection?
Dragon Hunter: Uh, takes the sport out of it. Mm. Seems like cheating, is all.
Krogan: Cheating. Cheating. When you're right, you're right. Ah, look at us, we crooked band of double dealers. Well, I suppose if you'd rather do things your way. Good luck to you, hmm? And perhaps we will meet again.
Dragon Hunter: I can leave? Just like that?
Krogan: Just like that. Safe travels, my friend. Anyone else feel like discussing our methods of trapping? The floor is open.
Tuffnut: I can't believe you sold Johann all our stuff.
Ruffnut: Wasn't that the point? What do you want from me?
Snotlout: Will you two pipe down?
Ruffnut: You know what they call that?
Snotlout: Imminent death?
Tuffnut: A symbiotic relationship.
Tuffnut: Symbiosis is the interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association to the advantage of both.
Ruffnut:' However, this can often lead to parasitism.
Tuffnut: Parasitism. It's a non-mutual symbiotic relationship between species where one of them, the parasite benefits at the expense of the host. Take you and Hookfang. The two of you, if you're flying together in perfect harmony, that's symbiotic.
Ruffnut: However, when Hooky benefits at your expense, i.e., you getting nothing, parasitic.
Snotlout: Hookfang! Tell you what. Why don't you two symbiose yourselves over there and get those Gronckles, or I'll "parasite" the yak dung out of you!
Tuffnut: Huh! My dear fellow, although you are attempting the gerund form of some of those nouns-
Snotlout: Just do it!
Ruffnut: A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Tuffnut: Even if it's vacuous, empty, desolate... Uh-oh.
Dragon Hunter 1: Load them up.
Krogan: No. No. This is not it.
Dragon Hunter 2: Sir, perhaps if you told us what it was you were looking for and why you needed them-
Krogan: I'll know it when I see it. And my use of them is not your concern yet. Singetail. That's the spirit. Bring me more of these. As many as you can find.
Ruffnut: Here we go.
Snotlout: I thought you said it was symbiotic.
Ruffnut: It is! For them. Not you, ding-a-ling.
Snotlout: Hey, name-calling is not going to help the situation, Ruffnut.
Ruffnut: It's helping me plenty!
Tuffnut: Remember how the Hunters subjugated the Quakens in a quarry? They used vibrations to control them.
Ruffnut: They had hammers and slammed with them on the ground.
Ruffnut: You make contact, keep them occupied, and the two of us will lead the Gronckles to victory.
Ruffnut: I don't think this is going to be mutually beneficial.
Tuffnut: It will be for us.
Snotlout: All right, Quakens, let's make this relationship shine. Uh, guys? Little help here.
Tuffnut: Let's get these Gronckles out of here while we still can.
Ruffnut: What about Snotlout?
Tuffnut: Relationships are complicated. He'll work through it.
Astrid: I know, Garff. It's okay. Hiccup, I don't think he's gonna make it. Go. I'll stay here with Garff. We can't lose the Edge, Hiccup. And we have to stop the Hunters before they do this to other dragons. You know I'm right. I'll meet you back there. I promise. I'll stay here with Garff until... I'll be fine. I've got her. All right. There you go. That's a good boy. I'm here, Garff. I'm here.
Fishlegs: Here you go. Two parts sandstone, three parts limestone, one part iron ore. Three parts limestone, two parts sandstone, one part iron ore. Ooh! No, no, no, no, no! This is a very specific recipe. It's three parts limestone!
Tuffnut: I thought it was three parts sandstone.
Ruffnut: What do we do with the bauxite?
Fishlegs: Bauxite? Bauxite?! There's no bauxite in Gronckle Iron.
Tuffnut: Eh. Hang on a minute. I know this pit. Is that our Boar Pit?!
Tuffnut: Very parasitic of you, Fishlegs.
Fishlegs: Look, I didn't have a choice.
Ruffnut: We all have choices. It's just obvious which one you made.
Tuffnut: Boar Pit, oh, Boar Pit, we shall miss thee. You put the "symbi" in our "osis" and gave us such glee.
Ruffnut: Never fear, Mr. Boar, as a new Pit of Iron shall rise, like before. And we shall grease you and wrestle you into symbiotic heaven. Even if our names were just Shirley and Kevin. Whoa!
Fishlegs: Are you two finished?
Tuffnut: Three more verses. You're gonna love the fourth. Yeah, I never did like that poem.
Fishlegs: Where's Astrid?
Hiccup: Melody Island. I'll explain later. Where's Snotlout?
Tuffnut: Dark Deep.
Ruffnut: We'll explain later.
Hiccup: Fishlegs, we have to fill those cracks!
Fishlegs: Right behind you. Alright, guys. We gotta take this show on the road, we might make it on the fly.
Hiccup: That's it. Take us in low, bud. Whoa!
Fishlegs: Here comes the limestone! Ooh! Oh, and here comes your sandstone.
Fishlegs: It's working, Hiccup!
Hiccup: I can see that, Fishlegs.
Fishlegs: Sorry. I'm sorry. Super excited.
Hiccup: We have to get to the volcano. Now.
Fishlegs: It's too intense.
Tuffnut: I mean, we love a good hot smoldering magma blast as much as the next Viking, but-
Ruffnut: True that! Tell them, Shirley.
Tuffnut: Can I be Kevin next time, please?
Hiccup: All right, everyone, let's do this! Whoo! The Gronckles. Oh, no.
Tuffnut: Uh, guys?
Hiccup: Oh, no.
Snotlout: Somebody help me! I can't get these parasites off of my butt!
Fishlegs: Of course! They're releasing the volcanic pressure.
Snotlout: Ah, I knew they were gonna do that. We're tight like that. Symbiotic tight. Aah!
Hiccup: Yeah. I can't believe Garff made it. He was not looking good.
Astrid: I think he's gonna be all right. That dragon has a lot of fight in him.
Hiccup: He's not the only one.
Astrid: Hiccup, we can't let what happened to Garff happen to any other dragon.
Hiccup: You're right. And we're not going to. Listen, gang, the Dragon Hunters are still out there. I know you all wanna go home, but-
Fishlegs: Uh, who said I wanted to go home? I don't wanna go home.
Ruffnut: Not me. I surely don't wanna go.
Tuffnut: And I, Kevin-ly, would never give up the chance to live in a place that blows up all the time.
Snotlout: Fine. I'll stay. But keep me away from those two! They put me in front of the Quakens, and thank Thor I'm that tight with them.
Tuffnut: And symbiosis is alive and well on Dragon's Edge.
Ruffnut: You think Johann will let us buy any of our stuff back?
Tuffnut: Nah. He's a bit of a parasite, no?
Ruffnut: He surely is.
Dragon Hunter 1: Any idea who takes over when this thing kills him?
Dragon Hunter 2: I suppose it'd be a vote. That seems like the most logical thing.
Shell Shocked, Part 2 (transcript)