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This is the transcript page for "Game of Horns", complete with full dialogues and actions.


Transcript

Dak: Target practice time!

Burple: Yes. Even I can hit targets that are this close.

Summer: Something tells me it's not gonna be that easy.

Leyla: It's not gonna be that easy.

Dak: We're going to call out a name and a color and you have to hit that target as fast as you can.

Burple: That doesn't sound tough.

Dak: You're probably right. Pretty easy if you just... Burple, purple!

Burple: Huh? What?

Cutter: Doesn't sound tough, huh?

Burple: Hey, I wasn't ready.

Dak: I know. That't the point of this drill. To practice making good decisions under pressure so that... Burple, blue!

Burple: Oh, man.

Winger: It's okay, Burps, you'll catch on.

Leyla: Summer, green!

Dak: Cutter, orange! Winger, red!

Leyla: Aggro, blue!

Dak: Burple, purple!

Leyla: Burple, uh, green?

Dak: Burple, red, or purple or green?

Burple: I'm not good under pressure.

Leyla: That's why we practice, Burple.

Winger: Huh?

Aggro: What's that?

Cutter: Duggard blowing his nose?

Aggro: Another crazy Magnus invention?

Leyla: Only one way to find out.

Dak: Let's wing it!

Duggard the Decisive: Oh! Crates! Good people, and dragons, of Huttsgalor, welcome to the Festival of Festivals!

Dak: They really have a festival to celebrate all the other festivals?

Leyla: I guess so.

Hannahr: It's Huttsgalor's biggest celebration. So big, we only do it every four years.

Duggard: Time to celebrate our history, our heritage. We will have the Parade of Heroes, the Ceremonial Boat Painting, the Feast of 100 Dishes.

Burple: Delicious.

Duggard: There's also the Dance of our Forefathers and the Poetry Night.

Winger: I write poetry! What? It relaxes me.

Duggard: And of course there is the Game of Horns if anyone wants to play.

Leyla: Game of Horns?

Dak: That sounds fun.

Hannahr: It's not what you think. Anyone can challenge Duggard to be the new chief of Huttsgalor, and wear the Chiefly Helmet of Chiefdom. But no one ever does.

Duggard: So, just to get this out of the way, any challengers for the Game of Horns this time? Anyone? Well, in that case...

Magnus: Just one moment. I will play the Game of Horns.

Duggard: Magnus, you really want to compete against me in all 52 different events of the Game of Horns?

Magnus: What can I say? I like the hat.

Burple: It does look kind of tasty.

Duggard: Well, heh, uh, all right, then. The Game of Horns in on! Rescue Riders, would you mind?

Leyla: Whatever you need, Chief.

Duggard: The Chiefly Helmet of Chiefdom shall stay out of reach until either the Chief or the challenger...

Elbone: Question! The Chief doesn't have to do any fishing, does he?

Duggard: No, he does not.

Elbone: Then I'm in, too!

Dak: This couldn't get any weirder.

Duggard: Well, then, if nobody else...

Ottil: Chief Duggard!

Duggard: Yes, Ottil?

Ottil: Can I play the Game of Horns, too?

Duggard: I think anyone who wants to, can play.

Ottil: Then I'm in. Wait, I'm in? (faints)

Aggro: You were wrong. It just got weirder.

Cutter: Who's next, Haggis?

Duggard: Well, then, if there are no other challengers... According to the rules, the challenges will begin at high noon tomorrow. I appoint Hannahr to be our referee. And to my fellow competitors, I say, welcome to the Game of Horns. May the best Viking win!

Magnus: Oh, he will.

Leyla: Chief, I have to say, I am impressed. Three people after your job and you're totally okay with it.

Duggard: Yes, well, uh... I am totally not okay with it!

Dak: You can take these guys. I mean, Magnus isn't very tough.

Duggard: Aye, but he is a bit of a genius. And Elbone is a great fisherman.

Leyla: Well, you can definitely beat Ottil. He faints all the time. In fact, until today, I didn't even know his name. We just called him the fainting guy.

Duggard: Aye. But when Ottil's awake, he's as strong as young Burple's breath. No offense, lad, but you do eat a strange assortment of items.

Burple: He has a point.

Dak: Come on, you're Chief Duggard. So you must have won the Game of Horns at least once before, right?

Duggard: Once, and only because the other fellow came down with a terrible case of the stomach cramps, right after he tried my dish in the cooking competition. Anyway, the truth is, I just don't do well under pressure.

Burple: Yeah, I know the feeling.

Leyla: I believe in you, Chief.

Aggro: That makes one of us.

Duggard: Well, thank you, Aggro. I don't know what you said, but I know a positive growl when I hear one.

Aggro: No, you don't.

Duggard: Now, if you'll excuse me, Rescue Riders, I've got to go prepare for tomorrow.

Dak: Good luck, Chief.

Leyla: We'll be rooting for you.

Duggard: Yeah! Me, too.

Summer: You think he can win?

Leyla: I have no idea.

Hannahr: It is noon. So, it is time to commence the Game of Horns! Event number one, Archery. Competitors, to your places!

Leyla: Where's Magnus?

Cutter: We were worried about nothing. He isn't even gonna show... up?

Cutter: Well, the good news is, looks like fainting guy is out.

Dak: This isn't fair. He can't use a Mechano-Dragon, can he?

Magnus: Why not? It's archery. This is what I'm using to shoot my arrow. I don't think you'll find a single rule against using Mechano-Dragons.

Leyla: But, that's because there were no Mechano-Dragons until you invented them.

Magnus: Exactly.

Hannahr: Well, it's hardly within the spirit of the game, but I don't see a rule against it, so I guess I have to allow it. Elbone, you're up first.

Elbone: Uh, are there do-overs?

Hannahr: Mm-mm. Chief Duggard.

Duggard: Yes. This is my event. Dead-Eye Duggard, that's what they used to call me.

Leyla: Hey.

Summer: H2 on it.

Dak: Great shot!

Magnus: My turn. Axel!

Hannahr: Magnus wins.

Dak: Magnus wins. But Axel fired the arrow.

Leyla: And he tried to ruin Duggard's turn.

Magnus: Rule 12, Paragraph B.

Hannahr: "Game of Horns players may be assisted by any family member at any time in any way."

Cutter: Seriously?

Dak: Who wrote these rules?

Duggard: I believe it was Utgard the Unfair.

Leyla: I can see how he got his name.

Hannahr: Next up, "Nail Driving".

Elbone: Huh?

Hannahr: Tree climbing.

Hannahr: After three events, Magnus leads 3 to 0 to 0.

Dak: This is so wrong.

Aggro: Yeah, how do those skills help someone be a chief? Nail driving? Seriously?

Dak: No, what I meant was, it's wrong that Duggard has to compete against Magnus and Axel.

Cutter: Not to mention, a Mechano-Dragon.

Leyla: The rules allow Axel to help Magnus because they're family. What can you do?

Elbone: I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get Rocky. He's family to me.

Cutter: That should really help him.

Leyla: And maybe Duggard, too!

Cutter: Whoa, Leyla, I was kidding.

Leyla: I wasn't. Come on.

Leyla: Chief Duggard.

Duggard: Oh, Leyla, Dak. Don't mind me. Just warming up for the next event, boulder tossing.

Aggro: Come on. When will a chief ever need to do that?

Dak: How far can you toss it?

Duggrad: Don't know. Haven't quite been able to lift it yet.

Dak: That's gonna be tough to beat.

Dak: Leyla, if you have a plan to help Chief Duggard, now would be a great time to hear it.

Leyla: Yes, I do. Uh, Chief?

Duggard: Oh, Leyla. I was just warming up for the run in a circle and scream competition. Can I help you with something?

Leyla: Yes, you can. Chief Duggard, adopt us.

Duggard: Adopt who how?

Dak: I get it. If we're family, we can help you in the Game of Horns.

Leyla: Exactly. I know you planned on winning the Game of Horns all on your own. But before you say no, please think about...

Duggard: Yes!

Leyla: I'm begging you. Please change your mind! For the good of the... Oh, he said yes? You said yes?

Duggard: Ah, to tell you the truth, I've sort of come to think of you as my kin anyway. This just makes it official.

Leyla: Aw. It's okay, Burple.

Burple: It wasn't me.

Cutter: I just have something in my eye, that's all.

Aggro: Times like these, I wish Magnus spoke dragon.

Dak: Why?

Aggro: So I could be the one to tell him what we're doing.

Magnus: What?

Duggard: You heard me. I, Duggard the Decisive, hereby adpot the Rescue Riders as part of my clan.

Magnus: He can't do that! It's not fair.

Dak: What is it that you said before? "I don't think you'll find a single rule against it."

Hannahr: Dak has a point. I am going to allow it. The Rescue Riders are now on Duggard's team.

Magnus: Really? Well, then, I'll start adopting more teammates, too. I adopt Hannahr.

Hannahr: As if I would help the likes of you.

Magnus: Fine. Then, who here wants to be adopted? No matter. Team Finke shall prevail!

Burple: You sure will!

Summer: Prevail means win, Burple.

Burple: You sure will not!

Duggard: All right, Team Duggard, let's get to work at playing the Game of Horns. I'm not sure that came out right.

Dak: It's okay, Chief. We know what you meant.

Hannahr: Boulder tossing.

Elbone: I can't do it.

Leyla: Okay, Burp, this event is perfect for you. Go get them!

Burple: Mind if I pass on this one? My stomach is a little off today.

Aggro: Which one?

Burple: Uh, all of them?

Cutter: Don't worry, I got this. Let me show a little trick I learned from our friends, the Flyhoppers.

Hannahr: One point for Team Duggard.

Hannahr: Apple picking.

Winger: You wanna take this one, Burps?

Burple: I would, but I don't wanna hurt the tree.

Hannahr: Sculpting.

Elbone: Oh.

Hannahr: Duggard, you're the winner.

Hannahr: Chicken calling.

Duggard: Bawk, bawk, bawk.

Axel Finke: Bawk! Bawk, bawk, bawk!

Duggard: Oh, my!

Hannahr: Fancy dancing.

Duggard: Aye.

Hannahr: Fishing. Elbone wins the fishing competition.

Elbone: Of course I did.

Hannahr: This brings his total score up to 1.

Elbone: Yes! Now it's anybody's game!

Hannahr: Team Finke and Team Duggard are tied. They each have 25 wins.

Elbone: Anybody's game but mine. Let's go, Rocky.

Hannahr: Time for our final event which will decide the winner of the Game of Horns. We will meet back here in one hour for the Race of Doom.

Duggard: Thanks, family. You've gotten me this far. I can win this race myself.

Leyla: But according to Hannahr's map, you have to circle the whole island, on the ground.

Duggard: On second thought, maybe this is a family event. Who will race with me?

Magnus: Oh, who cares? None of you can beat my Mechano-Dragon. I've adjusted it's legs for maximum speed.

Dak: We'll see about that. Huh?

Leyla: Huh? What?

Magnus: Oh, my. Oh, did someone step in some Slinkwing goo?

Axel: Oh, wonder how that happened?

Magnus: It almost looks like someone secretly mixed it with liquid Belzium so it would harden faster.

Leyla: You forgot Burple.

Magnus: No, we didn't forget him. We just didn't waste any goo on him.

Axel: Get used to calling my uncle Chief Finke.

Magnus: Hmm.

Hannahr: Runners, to your marks.

Magnus: Ta-ta, Rescue Wrecks.

Duggard: Oh, leaping Loki. Guess I've got to on my own.

Leyla: Burple, it's up to you. You have to carry Duggard.

Burple: I'll just mess up. I'm no good under pressure. You know it, I know it. Even Magnus and Axel know it.

Summer: I don't know it.

Aggro: Neither do I.

Leyla: We all believe in you, Burple. So, you should, too.

Dak: Oh, right. I should've thought of that.

Hannahr: Ready, set....

Dak: Go, help Duggard. I'll try to get everyone else free.

Burple: Okay.

Duggard: Oh, please. Oh, please. Boy, am I glad to see you.

Leyla: Hold on. Burple, give it all you've got.

Burple: Um, this is all I got.

Leyla: Burple said that...

Duggard: I think I understood. Don't worry about it, laddie. This is faster than I was going by myself.

Leyla: Next stop, Thornbane Valley.

Leyla: Just keep going, Burps.

Burple: Uh...

Magnus: Oh, this is delightful. Don't worry, Burple. What you lack in speed, you make up for with clumsiness!

Axel: Uncle, shouldn't we keep going?

Magnus: Oh, nonsense. Any victory worth having is worth rubbing in.

Magnus: Pull the lever.

Duggard: We're right behind them, laddie!

Leyla: You can do this, Burple.

Burple: Yes, I can!

Leyla: Whoa!

Burple: No, I can't!

Cutter: I see someone coming down the mountain.

Dak: Who is it?

Cutter: It's purple, but it's not Burple.

Magnus: Is it just me or does the grass seem greener, the sky seem bluer when you are winning?

Axel: The Mechano-Dragon seems slower, that's for sure. I didn't know it had a prancing mode.

Magnus: Let me savor my victory, you pintsized party-pooper.

Leyla: You're doing great, buddy.

Burple: No, I'm not. I cost us the race.

Leyla: No, you didn't. We can still win this.

Duggard: I don't know about that. Look!

Magnus: Thank you, thank you. While I have you all here, I do have a few short prepared remarks. "A long time ago, a young, handsome and brilliant boy had a dream."

Burple: See? They're almost at the finish line. I can't handle the pressure.

Leyla: Burps, listen to me. Over there is the Belzium cave. When that big purple boulder was rolling down the hill and we just had seconds to act, you came through then. You know what you're real problem is? It's not pressure, it's lack of confidence.

Burple: Big purple boulder... That's it!

Duggard: What did that roar mean?

Leyla: He wants us to get off.

Duggard: Why?

Burple: So I can do this!

Dak: Ugh. This is hard to watch.

Winger: If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was intentionally rubbing it in.

Aggro: Oh he is.

Summer: Is that an earthquake or a...

Cutter: Burple!

Axel: Uncle, it's all you!

Hannahr: Team Duggard wins!

Dak: Yeah! Way to go, Burps!

Aggro: You smooshed Magnus.

Winger: And won the race.

Aggro: Yeah, that, too.

Burple: Thanks, guys.

Magnus: Foul! Foul! You saw that lavender laggard run me over!

Hannahr: Looked like an accident to me. You know, like certain people getting stuck in Slinkwing goo.

Leyla: I knew you could do it, Burps.

Burple: So did I. Except for most of the time when I didn't think I could do it. Thanks for believing in me, guys.

Hannahr: Dak or Leyla, if you please?

Hannahr: It is time for the Ceremony of the Horns! Let the victor come forth and claim the Chiefly Helmet of Chiefdom.

Duggard: Thank you, thank you. All I can say is that I never would've won this without the help of my new family, the Rescue Riders.

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