[Berk is currently suffering through its worst freeze in history. Right now, the teens and their dragons are huddled up in a pen inside the Academy, where Hiccup is giving a lesson.]
Hiccup: So, as you can see by the chart, proper wing control can be achieved by--
[Suddenly, a ball of fire hits the stone board, right where Hiccup was a few seconds ago. Hiccup is now clearly irritated.]
Hiccup: Okay, okay, who shot that fireball?
[He goes into "scolding teacher mode" and stares directly at Snotlout, who is "innocently" whistling, as if he didn't do it, even though it's obvious he did.]
Snotlout: Why are you looking at me?
Hiccup: Come on, guys, I don't want to be here any more than you do. Can we just get back to training, please?
Snotlout: I say we play Twenty Questions instead. Anyone? Anyone? Astrid, why do you love me so much?
Tuffnut: Me, me, me. Okay, I'll go first. Question number one...
[Snotlout signals Hookfang to hit Tuffnut with his tail, shutting him up for about two seconds.]
Tuffnut: Ow! Ow! ...How do you play Twenty Questions?
Hiccup: Uh, can we try to stay focused? Even for a second?
Astrid: We've been stuck inside for a week straight because of this crazy weather. We're all starting to go a little nuts.
Fishlegs: Ooh, Mr. Pinky, don't tell the others, but you are my favorite.
Ruffnut: Barf and Belch just found out they have tails! And it looks like they really hate that idea.
Tuffnut: Yeah, I got the same way when I found out I had a tail. You can't hide from me forever, invisible tail! I'll get you!
[As Tuff starts chasing his butt, Ruff walks over to Hiccup.]
Ruffunut: I may have told Tuff that he has a tail, too.
Tuffnut: You can't hide from me for long!
Stoick: Odin's ghost, it's cold out there! Worst freeze in the history of Berk! My--My beard is frozen solid.
Hiccup: So, Father, what brings you to the Academy?
Stoick: Trader Johann hasn't reported to port. If he's trapped out in this storm, he won't last the night. I was think--
[Hiccup is now practically bouncing on his feet, eager to leave the hole full of crazy that he's currently trapped in.]
Hiccup: Oh, yes, I can go! You know, Toothless can help find Johann's ship in the darkness. He is the perfect dragon for the job.
Stoick: Ehh, I don't know...
Hiccup: Please, Dad. If you ever cared for me at all, the way a father cares for his son, then you will let me leave!
Stoick: Bolt the door behind you when you leave, please.
[Cuts to Hiccup and Toothless flying over an icy sea]
Hiccup: It's pretty dark out here, bud. Do your thing.
Hiccup: Wow! Look at that. I've never seen the ocean frozen solid before. No wonder Trader Johann can't get to port. No one could get through this.
[An unknown group of animals runs over the ice below]
Hiccup: Whoa! I don't know what that was, bud, but I'm glad we're up here and it's down there.
Hiccup: You found something? Let's take a better look.
Hiccup: There he is!
Trader Johann: Master Hiccup! You're a welcome sight for these weary eyes.
Trader Johann: In all my years on the briny deep, I have never witnessed a freeze quite like this one. Ice as thick as Thor's hammer! I even considered abandoning my ship and traveling to Berk on foot.
Hiccup: Well, you won't have to worry about that now, Johann. Just enjoy the ride.
Trader Johann: Excellent. We shall pass the time with stories of my grand adventures that are sure to warm your heart and stoke the fires of your imagination.
Trader Johann: Did I ever tell you about the time I found myself up against the man eating metal masons of Minori Majore? Oh, it was spring. The smell of fresh jasmine was in the air...
Trader Johann: But it was not a yak; It was his daughter! I could not believe! She looked like a yak and her name was Yakmine. And that, Master Hiccup, is how the king of Ennuden made me an honorary member of his royal court.
Hiccup: Oh, look, we're here. Thank Odin.
Trader Johann: Not the welcome I'm accustomed to, but nonetheless.
Hiccup: Where is everyone?
Trader Johann: This reminds me of the time I landed on the island of the Red--
Hiccup: Hello? Anyone? Dad?
Hiccup: What in the name of Thor is going on?
Hiccup: Johann, anything?
Trader Johann: The whole town Master Hiccup, its empty.
Hiccup: I know. It's very weird.
Trader Johann: I don't like this one bit.
Trader Johann: There was one time I was on a trade run with a man who claimed to be a warlock and...
Hiccup: Let's go, Toothless. Johann, stay here.
[Hiccup investigates movement in a house. A figure suddenly falls from the loft, knocking him to the floor.]
Hiccup: Toothless? [Fishlegs suddenly appears] YO!! Don't ever do that again!
Fishlegs: Hiccup! Oh, thank Thor! I'm so sorry I fell on you!
Hiccup: Okay, Fishlegs.
Fishlegs: Fast, really fast, too fast. Speedy. Oh, and there sting, paralyzing sting!
Hiccup: Whoa, hold on, Fishlegs. What are you talking about?
Fishlegs: Speed Stingers.
Hiccup: Speed Stingers? Here?
Fishlegs: It all started just after nightfall. They don't fly but they're fast. Faster than any dragon I've ever seen, and they hide in the shadows. Scavengers, looking for anything they can find. One drop of their venom can paralyze a human or dragon in an instant. They move in a pack following a leader who directs them like a war chief. By the time Stoick ordered everybody to the cove the entire village had been overrun.
Hiccup: Well, where are the Speed Stingers now?
Fishlegs: I don't know. The sun came up and they disappeared, but they'll be back. They come out at night.
Hiccup: I don't understand, why did you come back here, Fishlegs, why not stay with everyone at the cove?
[We see Meatlug, paralyzed in a fighting position on a roof. How did they miss that?]
Fishlegs: Just look at her up there, so majestic.
Hiccup: How did I miss that?
Fishlegs: She tried to draw them away so I could escape. I just couldn't leave her.
Trader Johann: How did we miss that?
Trader Johann: So, she eats rocks, you say? That makes sense.
[Meatlug suddenly farts in his face.]
Trader Johann: Ooh, oh, dear. That's quite an effect.
Fishlegs: Movement! This is very good. It means the paralysis is only temporary. Come up and help, Hiccup.
Hiccup: Uh, where's Johann?
Johann: I'm okay, boys. I actually landed on me fluffy bits.
Hiccup: Fishlegs, what's the deal with this paralysis? How long does it last?
Fishlegs: I don't know, Hiccup. There's nothing about it in the Book of Dragons or Bork's papers.
Fishlegs: How do you think the Speed Stingers got here? They can't fly.
Hiccup: If I had to guess I would say it was because the ocean is frozen solid, creating an ice bridge from island to ours. We need to get to the cove right away.
Johann: Oh. I'm alright.
[The group is now walking over to the cove. As Hiccup walks in he sees many Vikings frozen in place. One of them being his father, frozen into a fighting position, which greatly worries Hiccup.]
Gobber: He gave as good as he got, Hiccup. It took six of those Speed Stingers to freeze the poor bugger.
Stoick: [Says something that is not understandable.]
Gobber: You bet ya, Chief.
Hiccup: What did he say?
Gobber: No clue. Don't want to make him feel worse than he does.
Hiccup: I should have been here. Toothless and I could have helped.
Gobber: Nonsense, boy. There were too many of them. Nothing would have mattered. Tell you one thing, those Stingers would be dining on smoke sturgeon and yak jerky tonight, if it weren't for your father.
Stoick: [Tries to say something but it comes out unintelligible.]
Gobber: Couldn't agree with you more, Stoick.
[Astrid runs up to Hicucp and gives him a hug]
Hiccup: Oh, Astrid. How's everyone else?
Astrid: Everyone's fine. Well, except for...
[The twins are currently messing around with a paralyzed Snotlout.]
Ruffnut: Stop hitting yourself.
Tuffnut: Stop hitting yourself Stop hitting yourself. Stop picking your own nose. Stop scratching yourself.
Astrid: Actually, when you think about it, it's really not so bad.
Ruffnut: Oh, come on. Your face isn't that ugly. Oh, wait.
Astrid: It's going to be dark soon. The Speed Stingers will be back for the rest of the food. Everyone wants to know what we're gonna do.
Hiccup: Gather the other Dragon Riders. We're heading out.
Astrid: Okay, we're ready.
Hiccup: Guys, these dragons only come out at night, so we need to find where they sleep during the day. The only problem is we need to find their nest before sundown or--
Astrid: Can we not think about the "or", please?
Fishlegs: Yeah, they came out of nowhere like a pack of wild badgers, scavenging and, uh--
Tuffnut: Badge-ge-ging. What? That's what a badger does. It badges.
Hiccup: Well, thanks for that. Uh, let's go.
Snotlout: Hold up. You're not going on a Stinger hunt without me.
[Snotlout, now able to move his head and talk, tries to stand up. He ends up leaning forward and standing perfectly on his frozen feet.]
Tuffnut: Whoa. That is seriously creepy.
Fishlegs: His paralysis is wearing off. Lucky us.
Astrid: Snotlout unless you plan on flying Hookfang with your teeth, you're not going anywhere.
Snotlout: What do you mean? I'm fine.
[He tries to take a step and falls over.]
Snotlout: Stupid arms and stupid legs.
[Gustav walks by.]
Snotlout: Hey, Gustav! Get your butt over here.
Snotlout: Snotlout Jorgenson, reporting for duty.
Astrid: What the--?
Gustav: I'm Snotlout's arm and legs, Hiccup. And together we are... Guslout!
Snotlout: Stop with the hands.
Snotlout: Hiccup, you need as much dragon power as you can get.
Astrid: I can't believe I'm actually about to say this but he's right.
Hiccup: You're kidding, right?
Astrid: You heard what Gobber said. There are hundreds of them.
Hiccup: Oh, alright. Fine.
Snotlout: Yes. Move my arm. Yes!
Hiccup: Let's split up and search for possible Speed Stinger hiding spots.
Gustav: Okey-dokey, Hiccup. Come on. Little bit further. Move with me.
Hiccup: Fishlegs, how's Meatlug doing?
Fishlegs: She's raring to go Hiccup. Look at her.
Astrid: So, what's the actual plan?
Hiccup: Fishlegs, you said they follow their leader in a giant pack, right?
Fishlegs: Exactly. That's what I saw.
Hiccup: So the plan is: find the Speed Stingers, capture their leader, use it to lure them away.
Fishlegs: It's okay. It's okay, you're doing your best.
Tuffnut: I've been stung! I can't feel my tail!
Tuffnut: When this paralysis wears off, you're dead.
Snotlout: Okay, up, up. Up is where the sky is, down is where the land is.
Gustav: I can't see, Snotlout! Your head's too big!
Snotlout: There will definitely be repercussions for this!
Hiccup: So, anything?
Astrid: Not a single Stinger.
Fishlegs: Us neither.
Tuffnut: I got stung.
Ruffnut: No, you didn't.
Hiccup: Have we checked every cave?
[Snotlout tries to look away, making a face that clearly says, "Busted."
Hiccup: Snotlout, did you check your caves?
Snotlout: Really? I'm insulted, Hiccup. Of course I did. Do you think I fell off my dragon and spent hours trying to get out of the sand? Ha-ha. I didn't.
Gustav: He fell off his dragon and we spent hours trying to get him out of the sand.
Snotlout: Gustav, make me punch you!
Tuffnut: Never gets old.
Hiccup: Well, then, we know where to look. Let's go!
Hiccup: Thanks, Gustav. You stay here with Snotlout and Hookfang.
[Snotlout moves his arm and gives a thumbs-up.]
Snotlout: Right. Hey! I did that all by myself!
[Tuffnut shoves Snotlout's still-extended arm into his nose.]
Hiccup: Okay, gang, we have to move fast, because it will be sundown soon, and we need to get that Lead Stinger out of there. Without him, the pack is useless.
Fishlegs: Hiccup, there he is.
Hiccup: Got him.
Fishlegs: Um, Hiccup?
Hiccup: Get this Stinger into the cage right away!
[Snotlout is now able to move his arms.]
Snotlout: That's right. Snotlout, Snotlout! Oi! Oi! Oi!
[A Stinger hops up and stings him on the butt.]
Snotlout: Oh, come on!
Fishlegs: He's too fast, Hiccup!
Hiccup: Not for a Night Fury!
Hiccup: Thanks, bud.
Hiccup: Astrid, follow us!
Astrid: I think I know where you're going with this.
Astrid: Stormfly, time to spike that Stinger!
Hiccup: Yes! Got him!
Astrid: Hiccup there's just too many of them! We're surrounded!
Hiccup: Dad, you're okay.
Stoick: You didn't think I let you have all the fun, did you?
Stoick: Remember me? Now get him off my island.
Hiccup: You heard the chief.
Astrid: With pleasure.
Hiccup: We'll get the cage! Ruff, Tuff, cover Astrid!
Ruffnut: Here we go!
Hiccup: Weren't expecting the old metal leg, were ya?
Hiccup: There, the ice bridge.
Hiccup: Toothless, we're going down!
Hiccup: No, no, no! Out of bolas. Toothless. And no plasma blast. Great. Ready, Toothless?
Snotlout: Hookfang, fire!
Hiccup: Nice shooting, Snotlout!
Snotlout: Ha! No problem, Hiccup.
Gustav: Yeah, no problem, Hiccup.
Snotlout: Hey! Put me down! Repercussions! Repercussions!
Stoick: Nasty creatures, those Speed Stingers.
Gobber: Aye, we have a few nasty creatures of our own around here.
Snotlout: You better start running now, because when my leg wakes up I'll...
Snotlout: Hey! Stop that!
Johann: Thank you again for the rescue, Master Hiccup.
Hiccup: No problem, Johann. I'm just glad everything's back to normal.
Johann: Oh, before you go, I have something for you. A little token of my appreciation. Pure squid ink, wrestled from the colossal squid of the Northern Waters.
Hiccup: Wow, thanks, Johann.
Johann: Yes, there is actually a wonderful story that goes along with that bottle. Ten summers ago, deep under the currents of the Northern Waters, I was staring directly into the black eye...
Hiccup: Hey, bud, what do you say we get out of here?
Johann: Wait, where are you going? I haven't finished my story yet. He was about to ingest me. Great big teeth!
Free Scauldy (transcript)
A Tale of Two Dragons (transcript)