This is the transcript page for A Tale of Two Dragons, complete with full dialogues and actions.


(The alarm horn sounds)

Fishlegs: Screaming Death attack! Wake up girl, we got to go! Come on, Meatlug, wake up!

Tuffnut: What's that horn for? Please tell me it's breakfast.

Ruffnut: It's for the Screaming Death!

Tuffnut: Whoo! That's way better!

Snotlout: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Astrid: Snotlout! What are you doing?!

Snotlout: I'm sorry, did I scare your girly little dragon?

Astrid: Get out of my way, I have to get to the Great Hall.

Snotlout: No, you don't. I have to get to the Great Hall. You have to get to the armory!

Astrid: Hiccup assigned me to the Great Hall yesterday. You heard him.

Snotlout: Tell you what, whoever gets there first, me, gets to guard it.

Astrid: Fine by me.

(Snotlout throws a couple of fishes at Astrid)

Astrid: Ugh! Snotlout!

Snotlout: Haha, Astrid, I thought you liked cod.

Astrid: Ugh!

(Stormfly starts chasing Hookfang)

Snotlout: Oh no.

(Stormfly and Hookfang crash into each other then crash into the great hall)

Hiccup: Oh, great. I can see my father's face already.

(Scene goes to Stoick speaking to the teens)

Stoick: When you told me you'd be running the Screaming Death attack drill, I assumed you wouldn't actually try to destroy the entire village.

Fishlegs: Uh, technically, chief, it was just the Great Hall. (Stoick gives Fishlegs a stern look) And, I'll let you take it from here.

Hiccup: Dad, this was supposed to be a practice drill, but it just got out of hand. I'm sorry.

Gobber: Uh, 'sorry' doesn't unburn Silent Sven's chest hair.

Stoick: No, it certainly does not. Which brings me, to your punishment.

(Scene switches to the Gang standing by Mildew's old Cabbage Patch)

Astrid: Ugh, Mildew's cabbage field.

Fishlegs: (sniffs an old cabbage) Oh, wow! This is revolting!

Ruffnut: Actually, it's not that bad.

Tuffnut: Yeah! Don't judge till you try it. Mmm.. [gags]

Hiccup: Ok gang!

Tuffnut: I'm fine.

Hiccup: My dad wants this field cleared and ready for planting by the end of the weak. Astrid, Snotlout, you two break down and clear out the big boulders on the far end while-

Snotlout: Actually, that sound more like a man's job.

Astrid: Hmm, you're right. Better give me Fishlegs instead.

Snotlout: Huh? Astrid, what do you see when you look over here?

Astrid: Is that a serious question?

Snotlout: You see five thousand pounds of boulder crushing splendor!

Astrid: Just make sure you don't slow me down, boulder boy.

(Hiccup sighs)

Tuffnut: Hey, why do Barf and Belch get to have all the fun? Everyone's always telling us to use our heads.

Ruffnut: I was just thinking the exact same thing.

Fishlegs: No, no, no, Meatlug. Those boulders are for catapulting, not for eating. But, they do look delicious, don't they?

Hiccup: You see Toothless? It's all going perfectl- oh, don't say it.

Snotlout: What?

Astrid: What's wrong with you?

Snotlout: I told you to stay out of my way. This is viking war.

Astrid: Exactly so what are you doing here?

(Hookfang and Stormfly start shooting each other)

Hiccup: Oh that's, that's productive. Toothless, plasma blast!

(Toothless joins the fight)

Snotlout: Hookfang, stop, heel!

Astrid: Stormfly, calm down!

Hiccup: Woah, bud, come on! We're trying to break up the fight not win it.

Snotlout: Hookfang, calm down! Hookfang!

Astrid: Stormfly! Stormfly!

Hiccup: Guys back your dragons away from each other!

Snotlout: I'm trying!

Hiccup: Well try harder! Okay! Everyone to the rock pile!

Snotlout: What is wrong with your dumb dragon!

Astrid: My dumb dragon? Your flaming Snotmare was trying to barbecue us!

Hiccup: Guys.

Snotlout: Snotmare? Snotmare! I kind of like that.

Astrid: You would.

Hiccup: Guys!

Snotlout: Oh yeah, I would huh?

Astrid: Yeah, yeah you would.

Snotlout: How about I call your dragon ugly?

Astrid: Oh I'll tell you who's ugly!

Hiccup: Toothless? (Toothless roars to get their attention) Thank you. Now, would somebody mind telling me what exactly was going on out there?

Snotlout: Simple. Hookfang and me were just trying to do our job when Stormfly went crazy and started shooting at us!

Astrid: You have got to be kidding! Hiccup, Stormfly and I were doing our job when this lunatic and his overgrown fire pit started torching us!

Snotlout: Oh come on! When have we ever started a fight just for the sake of starting a fight? Let me rephrase that.

Hiccup: Never mind. Do you two think you can work together? Yes or no? (Astrid and Snotlout glare at each other) Good.

Fishlegs: Okay, that was weird.

Hiccup: Y- Snotlout and Astrid trying to tear each other's heads off was weird?

Fishlegs: No, their dragons, Hiccup. As much as Astrid and Snotlout like to torture each other, Stormfly and Hookfang have always stayed out of it.

Hiccup: Hm...

(Scene changes to Hiccup and Stoick's hut)

Stoick: So, son, how are things going in the field?

Hiccup: Oh dad, it couldn't be going any better. We're moving like a well-oiled catapult.

Stoick: Really? Because word around the paddock is that Astrid and Snotlout are trying to turn the catapult on each other. Again.

Hiccup: (Chuckles nervously) Oh, oh that? It's a minor, uh, d-disagreement. You know how they are. (Someone knocks on the door) In fact I'm sure they've already forgotten about it.

Stoick: Let's hope.

Hiccup: (Opens the door to see Astrid)

Astrid: Hiccup, I refuse to work with Snotlout.

Hiccup: Heyyy! Astrid! What a beautiful night, let's talk outside. (Shoves Astrid outside and closes the door) Uh, didn't we talk this out?

Astrid: You talked, we listened. As usual. But I am not going to put Stormfly in danger by working with that muttonhead! Who can't even control his own dragon.

Hiccup: Ah, fine, fine. I will deal with it tomorrow. I promise.

Astrid: Thank you.

Hiccup: You're welcome. (Goes back inside) Yeah, so, just academy business, no big deal.

(More vigorous knocking)

Hiccup: Ah! Let me grab that. (Opens the door)

Snotlout: Hiccup, I refuse to-

Hiccup: Woah look! A full moon! (Shoves Snotlout outside) You are killing me!

Snotlout: Me? Astrid has totally lost control of her dragon! She's probably distracted by my manly presence.

Hiccup: Are you insane?

Snotlout: Hookfang sees it! Don't tell me you don't. Never mind. Here's the deal.

Hiccup: Let me guess, you don't want to work with Astrid tomorrow?

Snotlout: Exactly! Was that easy, Hiccup? Come on Hookfang, let's go think with our muscles.

Hiccup: (Goes back inside)

Stoick: Problem, son?

Hiccup: Problem? What problem? No, no. Everyone is happy, everything is great.

Stoick: Good to hear.

Hiccup: Yep, yep. Everything is right as rain.

Stoick: If you say so.

Hiccup: I do. I say so. Oh fine! You win. Snotlout and Astrid are driving me completely insane! They're acting like mental cases! I actually don't know who's worse, them or their dragons. I mean, at least with the dragons, you can lock them in their pens until they behave!

Stoick: Feel better?

Hiccup: Uh, a little.

Stoick: Alright. Hiccup, there's three ways to deal with vikings who aren't getting along.

Hiccup: I'm all ears.

Stoick: Option one, give them both axes and you let them fight till the end.

Hiccup: Yeah, that one seems a tad permanent. What's option number two?

Stoick: You give them both maces and let them fight till the end.

Hiccup: Do I even want to know what option three is?

Stoick: Oh, it's quite devious and can have grisly repercussions. Then again, it can go down like a treat. Odds are about fifty-fifty either way.

Hiccup: Uh, I'm listening.

Stoick: You trick them into working together.

(Scene changes to Astrid on Stormfly on Mildew's Cabbage Patch)

Astrid: Shh, do you hear that?

Snotlout: Wait. It's coming from the other side of that hill. (Climbs over dirt mount to see Astrid and Stormfly) Why that little Hiccup.

Astrid: Option three. Ugh, I should have seen that coming. Well, Stormfly and I are going to prove that we are not the problem. By working with you.

Snotlout: Pssh, not as well as we're going to work with you! Right Hookfang?

Fishlegs: I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't seeing it with my own two eyes.

Hiccup: Huh, I guess my dad was right. Then again I did put my own 'Hiccup' spin on it. Yeah, that's what all great leaders do, Fishlegs. They take an idea then they shape it.

Fishlegs: Uhhh, Hiccup.

(Astrid and Snotlout are thrown off their saddles by their own dragons)

Hiccup: Uh, great leaders are also often proven wrong.

(Scene goes to Hiccup and the others at the arena)

Hiccup: Astrid, Snotlout, your dragons are out of control but I think I know why. This is the day I've always feared would come. Your dragons have picked up on your animosity to each other and now they are behaving the same way.

Snotlout: Is it my fault that me and Hookfang are so in sync?

Hiccup: (Grabs Snotlout and puts him next to Stormfly) But you have just given me an idea. You both need to walk a mile in each other's shoes. (Grabs Astrid and puts her next to Hookfang) Or in this case, saddles. Perfect.

Astrid: What? What's perfect?

Hiccup: You two are gonna swap dragons for the day.

Astrid and Snotlout: What!?

Hiccup: That's right.

Snotlout: It's a girl dragon!

Hiccup: If you can learn to understand each other's dragons, then maybe you can learn to understand each other.

Snotlout: This does not work well with my manliness.

Hiccup: You can take the day off and just, get to know your new best friend.

Tuffnut: Hey, does that mean if we start fighting that we'll get the day off too? Cause we will. Watch.

(Ruffnut punches Tuffnut)

Tuffnut: See? (Continues fake fighting) This day off!

Hiccup: Nope. The three of us and Fishlegs are gonna head out to the field and keep working. My dad wants this done in time for planting.

Tuffnut: I want that day off!

(Scene changes to Snotlout riding Stormfly)

Snotlout: Woah-ho-ho. Wow! Stormfly! You are one fast dragon! I mean, Hookfang is fast but, hahaha, you are like, crazy fast! Haha. But fast doesn't mean anything if you can't stop! Wah-ahhh! Okay, you can stop on a yak! Ha, crazy! A little help?

(Scene goes to Astrid on Hookfang)

Astrid: So, Snotlout's always bragging about how much firepower you Nightmares have. Let's see whatcha got big boy. Wow! Incredibly dangerous but cool!

(Scene goes back to Snotlout and Stormfly)

Snotlout: Okay, you think you can bring the heat? Well let's see how you do it Stormfly! Woah! I gotta say, that's pretty hot!

(Scene changes back to Astrid and Hookfang)

Astrid: Okay, wing span, duly noted, not too much flaming, tail looks good. Tree! Woah! I didn't know you could do that! Did you know you could do that? I bet Snotlout doesn't know you can do that.

(Scene goes back to Snotlout and Stormfly)

Snotlout: Oh-ho! Woah ho-ho! Okay, this is pretty fun, haha. I could definitely get used to this. Wow, bullseye with a single shot? Bet Astrid doesn't know how to do that. Let's do it again. Aw stop it! Now you're just showing off, which is fine by me. I'm all about showing off, haha!

(Scene changes to the dome at night)

Hiccup: So... How was it?

Snotlout: Stormfly flies pretty good, y'know, for a girl. And she does melt solid rock in like, half a second which is cool.

Hiccup: She does indeed. And Astrid?

Astrid: I guess Hookfang is pretty powerful. And he's easy to fly which is good if you have a little talent.

Snotlout: Yeah, and I have a little talent. Hm. Wait.

Hiccup: Well, it sounds like you both have a better appreciation for each other's dragons.

Snotlout: Yeah. Psh, it's okay, it's, it's nice, it's, it's...

Hiccup: So that means maybe tomorrow you'll cut each other some slack?

Astrid: Yeah, I guess.

Snotlout: Fine. Can we go now?

Hiccup: Baby steps bud, baby steps.

(Scene changes to Fishlegs and Meatlug at Mildew's Cabbage Patch)

Fishlegs: Okay, that should hold you over for a bit but I need you to focus now. We're looking for clues. Anything that will tell us why Hookfang and Stormfly are acting so crazy. Nadder prints, excellent. Everything seems to be fine here. And here's the Nightmare's. Still peaceful. Ah! And here's where the trouble started. But why here? Maybe it's something- (Gasps) Meatlug, dig! Keep going girl! Wait a second! I was right!

(Scene changes to Astrid and Snotlout at the arena)

Astrid: What are you doing here?

Snotlout: Nothing. Nothing. What are you doing here?

Astrid: Is that chicken? Stormfly’s favourite? Did you come here to feed my dragon?

Snotlout: No... Maybe. Yeah. Well, what are you doing here? I smell something fishy.

Astrid: Fine, maybe I brought Hookfang a little breakfast.

Snotlout: He loves breakfast! That was actually, well, nice of you.

Astrid and Snotlout: You like my dragon!

Snotlout: Don’t tell anyone, okay?

Astrid: Deal. (Gasps) Our dragons are gone!

(Scene changes to later that day)

Tuffnut: We’ve done a lot of dumb things in our life but we have never lost a dragon. Not a whole one.

Ruffnut: I am very disappointed in you, young lady.

Astrid: Ugh!

Hiccup: Okay, okay, uh, they can’t be far. We’ll split up the island.

Fishlegs: Uh, actually. I might know where they are.

(Scene changes back to Mildew’s Cabbage Patch where Stormfly and Hookfang are fighting)

Snotlout: We need to break this up!

Astrid: Who knows what they’ll do to each other!

Hiccup: I’m open to ideas.

Astrid: Drop me in.

Snotlout: Me too.

Hiccup: Fishlegs, how did you know they were gonna be here?

Fishlegs: The more I thought about it, the more I wondered what made this situation different than any other. It was the field.

Hiccup: We’ve been in a lot of fields.

Fishlegs: No, no, no. Not like this one.

Hiccup: Dragon Root.

Tuffnut: Not Dragon Root! That is terrible!

Hiccup: You don’t actually know what Dragon Root is, do you?

Tuffnut: Not even slightly. Not even the faintest. I mean I think I know what "dragon" means.

Fishlegs: Dragon Root is like Dragon Nip, only more powerful. Dragons crave it but instead of making them happy and calm, it makes them-

Tuffnut: Want to rip each other apart, wing from wing!?

Fishlegs: Exactly.

Ruffnut: Cool.

Tuffnut: Sounds good. Do they have it for people?

Hiccup: Well, we can't leave Astrid and Snotlout down there. We have to help.

Astrid: Stormfly, calm down! It's me! Everything is okay!

Snotlout: They're ignoring us! How do we get their attention?

Astrid: Well, I might have an idea. But it's stupid and reckless.

Snotlout: You had me at "stupid"!

Astrid: Stormfly! If you're gonna attack him, you'll have to go through me.

Snotlout: Look Hookfang. We both know that you can totally kick Stormfly's tail but if you want try, you'll have to go through me!

(Astrid and Snotlout direct their dragons away from each other and the Dragon Root)

Fishlegs: Astrid! Snotlout! What are they doing?

Hiccup: I'm not sure but, I think they might be acting like a team!

Astrid: There's my girl.

Snotlout: Ah, you big knucklehead! 

Hiccup: They did it! We have to get down there! But none of us can get close to that Root without our dragons going nuts!

Fishelgs: That's not exactly true, Hiccup. Meatlug didn't go crazy.

Hiccup: Maybe Meatlug's rock diet makes her immune to the Dragon Root's effect.

(Barf and Belch nearly shoot Hiccup and Toothless)

Fishlegs: What are you doing?

Ruffnut and Tuffnut: They're out of control!

Hiccup: You guys are too close to the Dragon Root. Pull up!

Ruffnut: Pull up? Are you crazy?

Tuffnut: Yeah, this is awesome!

Fishlegs: Hiccup, we're going for the Root. Cover us. Come one girl! Lift with your legs!

Tuffnut: This is scary but in a good waaay! 

(Barf and Belch head for the Root but Toothless shoots them away)

Hiccup: I'm so sorry about this!

Ruffnut and Tuffnut: We're not!

Tuffnut: This is the best day ever! Haha, yeah!

Hiccup: Hurry Fishlegs!

(Meatlug stops tugging on the Root because it is really stuck)

Fishlegs: She can't do it by herself!

Tuffnut: Yeah! Incoming!

Snotlout: I think we better do something!

Astrid: For once, I actually agree with you.

Snotlout: But if we get too close, our dragons will start fighting again.

Astrid: I think I have an idea.

Snotlout: Is it stupid and reckless? 

Astrid: Maybe even a little bit crazy.

Snotlout: Loving it!

(Before Belch can light Barf's gas, Stormfly swoops past)

Fishlegs: Astrid, you are sight for sore eyes!

Snotlout: Who you calling Astrid?

Fishlegs: Snotlout? What, where's-

(Astrid approaches on Hookfang)

Astrid: Looking for me?

Hiccup: Astrid, what are you doing?

Astrid: We switched dragons again. It's the only way we can keep them from fighting each other.

Snotlout: He can sniff Dragon Root all day, but Hookfang would never attack Snotlout. He respects him too much.

Astrid: Do it Hookfang! Wing blast! 

(Hookfang blows Barf and Belch to the ground)

Ruffnut and Tuffnut: Yeaaah! (Both pass out)

Snotlout: What was that?

Astrid: Ya mean this

(Hookfang wing blasts the Dragon Root)

Astrid: It's still stuck!

Snotlout: I'm on it. Stormfly, single spine shot!

(Stormfly cuts the Root out of the ground and Meatlug takes it away before Barf and Belch reach it)

Hiccup: Good job, guys. Fishlegs, could you take it from here?

Fishlegs: Dragon Root flying out.

Hiccup: You do realise what happened, right?

Snotlout: We totally kicked butt!

Hiccup: Exactly. And you did it together! Astrid and Snotlout working as a team. Who would've thought?

Tuffnut: Ha. Not me. I try not to think.

Astrid: That was some fancy flying on my dragon.

Snotlout: You know how it is. Chicks dig me.

Astrid: Heh, yeah. That must be it.

Snotlout: Hookfang isn't always the easiest dragon to fly, Astrid. I have to admit, I'm impressed.

Astrid: So, uh, do you think I can have my dragon back now? 

Snotlout: Thought you'd never ask.

Astrid: Good to see you again, girl.

Snotlout: Ah, miss me? Haha! (Whispers) We can do something about the girl smell later.

(Scene changes back to Mildew's Cabbage Patch later that day)

Astrid: So, Snotlout, can you teach me how to do that single spine attack?

Snotlout: I don't know if you can handle it. Why don't you show me that wing-clappy thingy first and, then I'll think about it. 

Astrid: Heh. How stupid do you think I am?

Snotlout: How stupid is there?

Stoick: Option three. Not as exciting as one and two.

Hiccup: But sure does go down like a treat.

(Stoick chuckles as the screen pans to the sunset then blacks out)

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