User blog comment:Toothless the Nightfury/Storms and Strike Class (fan fiction)/@comment-6517819-20130811002812/@comment-6517819-20130811022603

I understand. Aren't you in college? Or finishing highschool or something like that?

Anyway, I just found small errors. There were only a few places where commas were needed. There were also a few places that just need a new line to start on. Not a paragraph. Example,''  Luckily the electricity did not catch his tail fin. Hiccup’s mind leapt into action. ,     I think it would be better if you put Hiccup's mind lept into action'' on the next line. Are understanding what I'm saying? btw, this is on Chapter 4 paragraph 5 or 6. Depending on how you count it. I also think you may have used the punctuation of a colon one too many times. A few more things you may want to think about, When to know when you should capitalize mom or dad, or anything else

Example #1: "That's my mom." Ian said. See how mom isn't capitalize? It's because Ian didn't say mom as a person's name.

Example #2 "That's Mom." Ian said. In example two, Ian is using Mom as a name.

Is book of dragons a title? If so you may want to capitalize it.

In a few parts of the story, is Hiccup thinking to himself? If he is, you may want to slant what he's thinking. Personally, it was slightly hard to know if he was or not. I also suggest you add a few conjunctions. I would like you to let Gobber say a few 'ye's and 'ya's every now and again. Like they do in the movies and shows.

I'm really sorry if you feel like I'm acting like you don't any of the basics of writing or anything like that. It's just that I've read stories that don't have any of basics of writting (besides periodes, exclamation points, question marks and capitalizing). And those people are around 13 and 14. If you aren't understand a few things that I mentioned, I'll explan them in a different way if you want.