Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-34320391-20180721150828/@comment-34320391-20180722075617

Note: I'm Nik. Awesome isn't a realistic name...

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Nik: Uhhh...Nuttetuff? What are you doing?

[Nuttetuff sighs sadly. He stops in front of DragonNewt and takes out his mace.]

Nuttetuff: I give you Macey. Hold her dearly, she likes sitting by the window, looking at the moon...the full moon. Ha! The irony.

DragonNewt [sarcastically]: Oh my Thor. That's so thoughtful.

[DragonNewt tosses Macey behind him.]

Nuttetuff: Hana. I give you my favourite bowl.

[The bowl has a picture of Meatlug on it.]

Hana: Hey, that's my bowl!

Nuttetuff: And now, now you've found it. Eat well, my friend. Eat well. Nik, Nik, Nik. What do you give the man who has everything? Here.

[Nuttetuff grabs Nelle.]

Nelle: Hey, you can't give me away!

Nuttetuff: In time, she'll come to you. She's going to take this very hard, and will most certainly go through a prolonged morning period. She's gonna need a new twin brother. I nominate you. It's a terrible job and she smells horrible. You'll have to dress like me and grow your hair long, so there are perks.

Nik: Alright, alright! What did I miss?

Nuttetuff: I'm just...preparing myself.

--

Red: There's no way she's really gone, is there? I mean, eaten by a Changewing? That's just way too easy.

Nik: Funny. I was thinking exactly the same thing.

Nelle: "As my last and final wish, I command you to burn all of these meaningless symbols of my earthly existence and dine in glorious reverence with a feast of Chicken in my honor".

DragonNewt: Mm-hmm, okay. Now we're getting somewhere.

Nelle: Wait. There's more. "Sorry, I meant a feast for Chicken in my honor, 'cause you would never eat Chicken. And if anyone ever tries to, I will haunt you to the ends of the archipelago". And now I must go fulfill my Schleibeldorg Ritual.

Red: Schleibeldorg?

Nelle: I shall be alone in my hut, in the dark, eating only sea slugs and toenails for the next two days. Any extra toenails are welcomed. I can blow through them pretty quickly in my grief.

DragonNewt: Pfft! She's not getting my toenails. I work too hard on them.

---

Nuttetuff: Don't be alarmed, mortals. I, I am the spirit of Tuffnut Laverne Thorston.

Nik: Tuffnut, we know you're not a ghost.

Nuttetuff: Oh, really? How? How do you know such a thing? Ouch! Oh! Ouch, I mean. All right, fine. I'm not dead.

---

Nuttetuff: Okay, let's review. The pros and cons of living life as a dead girl. Pros: no chores, because you're dead. That's a good one. All right, now. Ooh, good one. And deep thinking for a domesticated avian vertebrate. That means chicken. Of course you knew that.

Nik: All right, that's it. This little plan of yours is completely out of control. You're gonna tell Nelle you're alive before that Changewing or one of his friends really does eat someone.

Nuttetuff: Fine. You can take "Nik can't boss me around" off the list. Even in death, I am a mere servant to this dictator with a weak chin.

Nik: Okay, great. Now, let's get this done, shall we?

Nelle: Nik, look out! Nuttetuff's ghost is here!

Nik: He's not a ghost.

Nuttetuff: I'm just me.

Nelle: Oh, well, isn't that exactly what a ghost would say?

Nuttetuff: No. A ghost would never say that. A ghost would say something like- Look! Would a ghost do that?

Nelle: Yours would.

-

I need a conclusion...