Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon (transcript)

Written bellow is a transcript of the exclusive short Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon.

Transcript
Hoark Fire! Vikings Get the Buckets! To the ocean! What happened? Stoick The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the south! Astrid I'm on it! Stoick Gronckles, aim for the roof! Fishlegs Yeah! Stoick Good work, just a few hot spots left. Hiccup Where's Gobber? Is he still inside? Stoick No, we can't find him. Voice (o.s.) I'm right here. Gobber That beast will pay for this! Stoick Gobber, what happened? Gobber What's it look like? A dragon set my home on fire! Ruffnut What? Gobber You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones! Hiccup Dad, what's he talking about? Our dragons don't do that anymore. Stoick He doesn't mean one of yours. Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a-- Gobber BoneKnapper!? Tuffnut A what-knapper? Gobber A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton. Fishlegs The dragon manual says that the BoneKnapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build it's coat of armor. It's awesome! Stoick Come on, it's just a myth. It doesn't even exist. Gobber I'm telling you, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire. Viking Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must've started the fire. Stoick Still think it's the BoneKnapper, or just your underpants? Gobber I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil. Stoick Gobber, it's late, and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest. Gobber You rest, I'm putting an end to this. Gobber Come on, Phil. Let's go. We don't need their help anyways. Phil Baa. Hiccup We can't let him go by himself. All right, Vikings, grab your shields. Teens Yeah! Yes! Snotlout There's no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon. Gobber Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke! Hiccup How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh? Snotlout Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed. Gobber I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the BoneKnapper. True Vikings, you are. Ruffnut Gobber, are we there yet? Fishlegs Oh you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones! Gobber Not so, Fishlegs. The BoneKnapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer. Ruffnut Wait, so if we don't hear anything... we're dead? Tuffnut I don't hear anything. Phil Baa! Gobber Good one, Phil. Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded BoneKnapper? Gobber (v.o.) I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature. Teen Gobber Dad, pull the boat over! Gobber's Father Didn't I tell ya to go before we left? Gobber (v.o.) I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest...I had to have it. Gobber (v.o.) I reached in a pulled out the chest... Gobber (v.o.) It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. Gobber (v.o.) But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face! Teen Gobber Oh, my tooth! Gobber (v.o.) And there it was...I never even heard it coming...The BoneKnapper! Gobber (v.o.) It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings! Teen Gobber The treasure! Gobber (v.o.) I reached into the water... Gobber (v.o.) Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again! Teen Gobber Hey, hey, hey, hey! Gobber (v.o.) The BoneKnapper wanted that treasure...but I wanted it more! Gobber's Father What took you so long? Snotlout You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face? Gobber Yeah, twice. Hiccup Hey, it could happen. Gobber What do you mean "it could happen"? It did! But, I outsmarted the silent beast. Fishlegs Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but...BoneKnappers are not silent. Gobber Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear. But, I could feel it... Fishlegs Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be...? Gobber I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything... Fishlegs I really think we're gonna hit these... Gobber ...I could taste the oncoming doom! Tuffnut Whoa... Astrid Um, I'm tasting rocks. Gobber Ah, we're here. Ruffnut Ugh. Now we're stuck in the middle of no where, and no one even knows where we are. Fishlegs Except the BoneKnapper. Legend says... Snotlout Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking! Fishlegs Okay, just hold on one darn second... Gobber No need to panic, kids. I've been shipwrecked many times! Hiccup Oh, well that's...comforting. Gobber You never forget your first shipwreck... Gobber (v.o.) I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island. It's no wonder the BoneKnapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure. Gobber (v.o.) There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks! Gobber (v.o.) I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark infested waters. Gobber Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty! Gobber Someone forgot to brush! Gobber (v.o.) I didn't think I was going to make it. Gobber (v.o.) But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth...a giant hammerhead whale! Fishlegs Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the BoneKnapper? Gobber Almost, but he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle. Gobber (v.o.) All I had was my trusty egg beater. Gobber (v.o.) I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the BoneKnapper was right behind! Gobber Ah, azaleas! Gobber (v.o.) I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater. Gobber (v.o.) Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak! Tuffnut Okay, wait a minute... Tuffnut Now you're saying a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the BoneKnapper? Gobber You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again! I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me... Gobber (v.o.) So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast. Gobber (v.o.) And when he was ready...he charged! Gobber (v.o.) And then I ran like the wind! Gobber (v.o.) But the traps failed! Gobber (v.o.) Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do... Gobber Help! Gobber (v.o.) The Gods must've heard my prayers. It was Thor! Gobber (v.o.) He tossed a mighty thunderbolt. Gobber Aw, you missed. Thor Wait for it... Gobber (v.o.) Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth... Gobber (v.o.) The Hammerhead Yak riding the Hammerhead Whale! Hamerhead Yak Deploy the Yak. Gobber Yes! Gobber Oh, my back! Fishlegs Whoa...the whale saluted you? Gobber Can you believe it? But the BoneKnapper got away again! He found me on Berk... Snotlout Are you kidding? I don't believe any of this. Tuffnut Yeah, you totally made everything up! Ruffnut Come on, Gobber, it time to get out of here! Snotlout We need to get home! Tuffnut You don't even have any proof that that thing exists! Gobber Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle. Gobber It was in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years. Fishlegs It is stunning... Hiccup Um...listen, Gobber. Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home? Gobber Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. All right, who'd like to be dragon bait? Fishlegs Um, Gobber. Are you sure this is safe? Gobber Safety's overrated. Okay, here's the plan. The BoneKnapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in a finish him off once and for all! Snotlout It's sad when they get old. Hiccup Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the BoneKnapper! Gobber Wormsquat! Now, get into position. Way to go Fishlegs, you're doing fine! Hiccup No wonder they entire village think you're crazy. Snotlout Hello? He sees dead Vikings! Tuffnut Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak... Fishlegs Um, guys...? Astrid This is a complete waste of time.. Fishlegs Guys, hello!? Turn around! Guys, Guys! Everyone What!? Hiccup It's right behind us isn't it? Fishlegs Well, what do you know? No roar. Gobber Run! Astrid Okay, Gobber, we believe you! Gobber Phil! Snotlout Find a happy place, find a happy place... Fishlegs No, no, no, please...please. He wants my head. I swear he wants my head! Gobber Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I'll show you! Hiccup Wait? It searches for the perfect bone to build it's coat of armor. The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants! Gobber Huh? Others No! Hiccup Wait, listen to me. I think Fishlegs was right. The BoneKnapper is supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle. Astrid Gobber, please, you have to give it back. Gobber No way, it's mine. Hiccup Give him back his bone! Gobber No! Hiccup GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE! Gobber No! Gobber Noooo... oh, all right. Hiccup Gobber! Gobber All right, you've got me. Make it fast. Hiccup That's gonna give me nightmares. Astrid Well, at least we have a ride home. Gobber Aren't you cute? Yes you are, yes you are! Snotlout You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: "He's right." Tuffnut This tailbone is hurting my tailbone! Hiccup He sure seems happy to have that bone back. Fishlegs Well, legend says that BoneKnapper's roar is its mating call. Gobber Oh, that's just a myth. Gobber Uh oh. Phil Ba. Gobber I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?